Best Of The Fray

The Fray Awards

As we ate our Thanksgiving dinner, the Fray team realized that we are truly grateful for the joy the Fray brings into our humdrum lives. So we’re giving out some Fray Awards: recognition of a few fine moments from the past two years. (We’ve put links where possible, but some of the posts are gone forever.) Immensely valuable prizes are awarded in the following categories:

Best Post Title:A Wiccan Says Yes to Faith-Based Funding”—Aragorn Icewolf. (A winning title/Frayname combo and one that led to further discussions in thisand subsequent “Best of the Fray” sections.)

Most replies to a Fray post: Devil’s Advocate saidthat “the [Timothy] McVeigh case represents the worst possible argument against the death penalty … [but] killing McVeigh is wrong” and triggered more than 1,000 replies.

Runners-up: Joey Girard’s “ Jesus had it coming” (great calming title, Joey!), with more than 900 replies; Ferdinanda’s controversial ideason the 9/11 attacks and revenge (more than 600 replies); and Texwiz’s touching ode to marriage(nearly 300).

Best Insult:Remember when our big worry was shark attacks? Sheriff Brodyhad this to say: “Get over it, you … vacationing cry-babies. Sharks can’t swim into your suburbs and put the bite on your fat TV-watching ass, so if you don’t like them, don’t go into the water and wiggle it at them. Dummies.”

Runner-up: From Jeff, after another poster, T, tried to correct him on the subject of video games: “Here comes Web Policeman T, absorbing laser fire and bouncing through the walls. Get a life, dweeb.” (One of our favorite sets of Fray Notes, by the way, do read them here.)

Best rhyme in a Fray post: JTcouldn’t get into his regular Fray home (tech troubles) and had to post on the Poems Fray, where he blended magnificently:

I’m a guy who’s quite spontaneous

But I miss my friends in Miscellaneous.

Runner-up: Bluto’s rhyming of “vigilant” and “diligent” in his “Ode to the Fray Editor.”

Best comment on the Fray editor:Easy winner should be Arthur Stock’s comment in the “ Breakfast Table (scroll to the end of Arthur’s last Thursday entry and click on the words “Moira Redmond”), but that wasn’t, of course, a Fray post. There are some good ones mentioned in our Fray “ Diary,” but we’ll go for something different: Hugh’s “She is the Jane Fonda of the Fray.” He’s a Vietnam vet, so we don’t think it’s a compliment.

Runner-up: Commoner, with his claim that the Fray editor is an affirmative-action hire and hence incompetent.

Most common spelling mistake:Hypocrisy—why can none of you spell it? No, it’s not hippocracy or hypocracy or hippocrisy.

Runners-up: Looser for loser. Many posters confuse “your” and “you’re,” but this may be a grammatical error. And always remember: There are two f’s in “buffoon.”

Match the Insult: Guess which Slate writers provoked the following lines (answers not supplied):

1) Kudos to you, you magnificent fat ugly bastard.

2) You are a liberal, elitist, snob. I wish you all the best, and thank you for your views.

3) [Answering a line: ‘Is it just me…?’] Yes it is just you, and not only this week either.

4) Tell Little Lord Fauntleroy to mind his manners.

Best Fray posts ever:

Adolphe-William Bouguereau on conceptual art. (This is actually by a very well-known poster: Which one?)

Dan Simon being annoyingly perceptiveon not having read great books.

Gordon the Aussie on the entire conceptof bedding journalism.

Will Allen on a presidential primary, at the end of this“Ballot Box.”

Arthur Stock/History Guy with the only Fray postyou’ll ever need.

Great Short Posts:

“STOP SPENDING YOUR MONEY ON MOVIES! LEARN TO SPELL INSTEAD!” (After a particularly rambunctious “Movies” Fray. We don’t think it was posted by an out-of-patience David Edelstein.)

“It was busy in the Chatterbox Fray so I just went over to the Ballot Box Fray. But you know what, they’re a funny lot over there, so I came back.”

[In “Chatterbox”] “Quick, quick, everyone over to the ‘Breakfast Table’ Fray—they’re discussing alien life forms over there.”

“Why must all satanic abuse be ‘ritual’? Can it not be spontaneous and creative, rather than rote and imitative?”— Stomasso.

If you or your post are mentioned here, write to us at; include your address, and we’ll send you a Slate hat. (Oh, but having made one of the spelling mistakes doesn’t count—sorry.) If you have any recommendations for winners or further awards, post them in the Fray.