Kausfiles Special

Sex, Cars, and Carville

The X-acto Knife Award for Creative Editing goes to the promoters of the movie Sleepy Hollow. Their New York Times ads feature this quote from Newsweek:

“‘Sleepy Hollow’ has got to be the most gorgeous, sumptuous, painterly movie ever made …”

The full sentence, from Jeff Giles’ review, reads:

“‘Sleepy Hollow’ has got to be the most gorgeous, sumptuous painterly movie ever made about multiple decapitations.”

Carville Hitches a Ride on Hillary: James Carville–last seen pathetically weaseling out of his ill-considered offer to pay $100,000 “to any reporter who can show me that Hillary Clinton linked the president’s sexual misconduct with his childhood” in Lucinda Franks’ Talk article–is now “volunteering” to go to New York to campaign against Mrs. Clinton’s likely opponent, New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. “I’m going to New York. I’m setting up committees,” Carville told Tim Russert on Meet the Press. Has it occurred to anyone on Mrs. Clinton’s campaign staff that Carville’s interests might not be entirely congruent with the first lady’s? Mrs. Clinton wants to get elected senator. Carville no doubt wants her to get elected, too, but above all he needs to draw attention to himself to pump up his book sales and lecture fees. It’s in his interest to make a fuss in New York even if it doesn’t help Hillary a bit in the polls–even if he hurts her. How could he hurt? Because he’s a Clinton-era character who reminds undecided voters of everything about the past eight years they’d like to be rid of. …

Mandatory Automotive Items: The news in the latest Consumer Reports “New Car Preview” is the Saab 9-5’s terrific reliability score. Who would have thought a car company half-owned by General Motors would build a car–even a $40,000 car–as trouble-free in its first year as a Toyota? Maybe Subaru won’t be ruined if, as expected, GM buys 20 percent of it. … A previous, highly scientific kausfiles item proclaimed the victory, in the marketplace, of “high-butt” over “low-butt” auto designs. Further confirming evidence now comes from Ford. The company raised the rear end of its mass-market Taurus four inches–and raised sales 23 percent (compared with a year earlier), according to figures released yesterday. Indeed, the new, non-drooping Taurus outsold the Toyota Camry in November to become the best-selling sedan in the United States. … Next time raise the rear five inches! The sky’s the limit! …

Yent-a-Matic No. 3:An occasional feature in which kausfiles suggests romantic possibilities between public figures who may or may not know each other. This is one of our classier matchups:

Lucinda Williams, slightly neurotic, obsessed maker of the long-awaited, critically acclaimed country-rock album Car Wheels on a Gravel Road,


Ron Rosenbaum, slightly neurotic, obsessed author of the long-awaited, critically acclaimed book Explaining Hitler.

Bonus rationale: He’s a sometime literary and music critic; she’s the daughter of a respected poet.

Notes: Ron–Don’t read her daddy’s Clinton-inaugural poem. It stank! Lucinda–Write a song about Pale Fire and he’s yours!