Parsing Kendall

A cry has gone up for President Clinton to comment less obliquely on Juanita Broaddrick’s rape charges. Thus far, his only comment has been through his lawyer, David Kendall: “Any allegation that the president assaulted Ms. Broaddrick more than 20 years ago is absolutely false.” Should the president provide a little more in the way of explanation? Sure. Will he? Chatterbox seriously doubts it. Given this harsh reality, how about a little textual overanalysis of what the president’s legal team offered up? Prospecting for hidden meaning, Chatterbox fed the phrase “absolutely false” to his new favorite Web site, Anagram Genius. Here are some of the more suggestive anagrams it spat back:

Anagram: Foul beastly sale.

Possible meaning: “Mark our words, Broaddrick’s bucking for a book contract.”

Anagram: Safely able louts.

Possible meaning: “Clinton’s guilty, but you’ll never nail him (or us) for this.”

Anagram: Flatly abuse lose.

Possible meaning: “Clinton had sex with her, but it wasn’t rape.”

Angram: Foully steal base.

Possible meaning: “He’s guilty.”

Anagram: Yell usable fatso.

Possible meaning: “We don’t care what Rush Limbaugh says.”

Anagram: Loyal felt abuses.

Possible meaning: “You think it’s fun working for Bill Clinton these days?”

Anagram: A lousy fate bells.

Possible meaning: “The jig is up.”

Anagram: Beauty! so self all.

Possible meaning: “The president is too narcissistic to remember what happened.”

–Timothy Noah