News Quiz

Newer Rochelle

As deliciously Delphic as Alan Greenspan.

No. 115: “Newer Rochelle” By Randy Cohen
It’s the centerpiece of the New Rochelle, N.Y., urban renewal plan, and developer Louis Cappelli says: “It’s exhilarating. It’s for anyone from 7 to 80 years old, and it takes all of 30 to 45 seconds.” What is it?

by noon ET Wednesday to e-mail your answer (

Responses to Monday’s question (No. 114)–“Pleading Is Fundamental”:
Fill in the blank. Rejecting the notion that popular support for President Clinton makes impeachment proceedings undesirable, House Republican Whip Tom DeLay said on ABC’s This Week, “I don’t read the polls; I read ______________.”
“Whatever the hell Oprah tells me to.”–Danny Spiegel“The entrails of snakes, some of whom are leaders of my party.”–Alfa-Betty OlsenCigar Aficionado (particularly now that it’s added a centerfold).”–Jon Hotchkiss“The instructions from my masters on the Planet Zorton.”–Greg Diamond“The Hardy Boys. You wouldn’t believe the scrapes those wholesome rogues get into … and get out of!”–Jim O’Grady“Whatever’s tattooed across the backside of my latest hooker.”–Tim Carvell“With great difficulty, as a matter of fact. There’s a reason they call me ‘DeLay,’ and you insensitive press vultures just don’t get it, do you? Things don’t come so easy to some of us, not like Bill smarty-pants Mr. Straight-A-Get-All-the-Girls. I know guys like him, I grew up with them, and to hell with the American people! Impeach the son of a bitch!”–Peter Lerangis Click here for more responses. Randy’s Wrap-Up
There are actors who truly do not read their reviews because, good or bad, those comments would distort their performance; applause can be as disorienting as boos. But it is impossible to believe that Tom DeLay does not read the polls (i.e., have them read for him [to him?] by a low-level staffer). If DeLay’s views jibe with those of his constituents, he is a paragon of representative democracy, the living embodiment of the electorate. If his views do not jibe with his constituents, he is a man of principle, unruffled by fads and fancies. A neat trick: Either way, he wins. This is how Congress differs from Kraft Foods. In the former, if most people don’t like what you’re doing, you are a leader; in the latter, if most people don’t like what you’re doing, you’re New Mint ‘n’ Maple Velveeta and are quickly withdrawn.
Reading Rainbow Answer
The Constitution.
Kennedyesque Extra
“He outdoes JFK.”–85-year-old former MCA Chairman Lew Wasserman on President Clinton
“He hasn’t got Kennedy’s dash or classic good looks.”–M*A*S*H creator Larry Gelbart on President Clinton“[He was] running a damn Murder Inc. in the Caribbean.”–Lyndon Johnson on JFK. An additional 60,000 documents related to the Kennedy assassination will be declassified and released to the public Wednesday Vigor and Optimism You Might Call Kennedyesque Extra
“Well look, we have these things happen. You can let them drive you crazy, or you can look at them the other way.”–Julian Robertson , chairman of Tiger Management, the world’s biggest hedge fund, which lost $600 million in August and $2 billion in the first half of September
“The press tries to make this into such a whole deal. We lost more money between mid-January and mid-February than we’ve lost lately.”–Julian Robertson , putting his financial situation into a larger perspective

Post-Sputnik Kennedyesque Science Extra
“Older People Enjoy Sex, Survey Says”–headline in the New YorkTimes

Randy Cohen writes “News Quiz” for Slate.

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