The Breakfast Table

Three Cheers For Naps

Hey Beam:

Naps really can change one’s mood. My mother taught me that. Arise refreshed and pray for amnesia.

In regards to your Murdochette. (A great appellation, by the way. Makes you think of a chorus line of girls with notebooks.) When you joked about inviting her for a pre-midnight interview–a la Live Shot Kerry, everybody’s favorite junior Senator–there was in fact a little news from him today. He said he thought Clinton gave a sufficient apology, and now let’s stop all this talk about young women who aren’t wives. A few people are smiling over that one.

And speaking of smiling, I loved the twelve Safeway employees in California who’ve filed grievances over the chain’s “smile and make eye contact” rule. They’re complaining of being propositioned by shoppers who are misunderstanding the eye contact. Is that a hoot or what? I guess some shoppers really began to expect service with a smile.

I, too, took note of the study showing kids knowing zilch about history. The 2% knowing James Madison did surprise me, though. Wouldn’t you guess this generation would think that he was the husband of Dolly Madison–the one who makes doughnuts?

I offer you a bit of news that may just now be hitting the wires. I got it from my plant man. He said he was watering plants in an office in Roxbury, very near a Footlocker that was going out of business, where $150 sneakers were priced at $20. In appreciation, about 400 young people stormed the store, injuring many people who were pushed into the building and being crushed. My news bureau with a watering can said there were lines of policemen, many ambulances, and lots of squad cars. What is this about when pricey sneakers cause riots? These kids not only don’t know from James Madison, they seem to be seriously deficient when it comes to judgment and priorities. Sneakers, for God’s sake. I’m going to take a nap.