News Quiz

Nous Sommes Num? Trois

Taking full responsibility for Dan Burton.

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“Really serious patients of Dr. Moreau’s.”–Bill Franzen“Miss America contestants.”–JudyAtHome“Ninety-four percent of the world’s population.”–Gene Cluster (Matthew Singer and Andrew Staples had similar answers.)“Urchins working for Kathie Lee.”–John Snell (similarly, but with an up-to-the-minute Beanie Baby twist, Gene Cluster)“Kids on MTV’s Real World: Jakarta.”–Scott Ruthfield“Sudanese.”–Tim Carvell“Pennsylvania Dutch. (Smith is the spokeswoman for Amish Lite, a new initiative aimed at getting teens and twentysomethings to join the butter-churning cult.)”–Tim Carvell“Jews.”–Jon Hotchkiss“Marines.”–Charlie Glassenberg“Tokyo bankers jailed for malfeasance.”–Carrie Rickey“Death Row inmates.”–Leslie Goodman-Malamuth (similarly but more global, Leon Zaks, and with a sentence commuted to life imprisonment, Jeremy Horwitz)“Egg donors.”–Gene Cluster“Suicide cults.”–Andrew Cohen“Nielsen families.”–Jon Delfin“Kids named after Stephen King title characters.”–David Finkle“Nubile, young sex slaves chained in the White House basement. (And if Kate Wing doesn’t like that answer, she’s a doody-head, plain and simple.)”–Tim Carvell“Declining and debt-ridden industrialized nations who choose to wallow in puerile decadence, just to piss off Kate Wing.”–Chris Thomas

“News Quiz regulars.”–Beth Sherman

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