Clinton’s Testimony: Real Time Commentary!

Watching President Clinton’s testimony (on MSNBC, of course), Chatterbox realizes that he has an advantage over the TV blowhards who usually rule in the “instant analysis” game: They can’t get on the tube because nobody wants to interrupt the broadcast of Clinton’s Starr testimony! But Chatterbox is working in an entirely different medium that you can tune in while you watch your TV! For this brief moment, Chatterbox is more influential than Cokie Roberts!

Too bad Chatterbox doesn’t have much to say. As of 10:15 EDT, Chatterbox finds the whole thing less exciting than he’d guessed. In fact, when he’s done writing this he’s going to start paying some overdue bills while watching TV. For what it’s worth, here’s Chatterbox’s observations thus far:

–Clinton is coming across as smart, but not in a slimy way. His hairsplitting isn’t as annoying as Chatterbox thought it would be, perhaps because it’s so obviously a matter of survival.

–When asked about the definition of sexual relations, Clinton created a hypothetical couple he called “Jane and Harry.” Is this some unconscious echo of Harry and Louise, the TV nemeses of Clinton’s health care plan?

–Clinton’s view of sexual relations isn’t that it consists only of intercourse. Rather, he said, “it would include intercourse.” That definition is a shade more complex than we’d been led to believe (though I’m not sure it has any practical use).

–Clinton accidentally called his grand jury interrogator “Mr. Bennett” at one point. Any unresolved psychological issues with his Paula Jones lawyer, Bob Bennett?

Timothy Noah