The Breakfast Table

Taking No Prisoners

Dear Erik-

By “captive” I was merely pointing out that according to the terms of our employment you have to read and return my letter. Something I find doesn’t always happen with people who might not agree with me. But, we aren’t doing badly. No snotty remarks so far, right? Unless you are too subtle for me.

I agree about the rule of let your enemy continue to hurt himself while he’s doing a fine job of it, but where does that leave Democrats who are speaking out against Clinton? He’s their friend, right?

Ah, yes, the Clinton Library. How quickly I have forgotten the $100 million figure I heard last week. The very idea begs a parody my fingers are itching to type up. Let’s start with the architecture first. No….its late in my East Coast day. I won’t go there.

CNN just interviewed a staffer of some kind from the Des Moines Register who says that the subject of Monica was overwhelming the talk at the Iowa State Fair. Now that’s true fly-over folk, not cable addicts per se. They also report that Clinton is going to apologize again. Sounds like “If you didn’t like the last one, here’s another one for you.” He may not do it on television and find some other venue. Might I suggest renting a hall and inviting everyone who told a lie on television for the first night, and every woman who testified at the Paula Jones depositions the next. Then, perhaps a long, quiet dinner at the Bombay Club with the Lewinsky family.

I think your wife’s Russian Scenario is fascinating. I visited there this last May and consumed a great deal of room temperature vodka and some kind of white grease they smear on bread in the company of Moscow millionaires wearing black leather and speaking into two cells phones at once while they wove not dissimilarly weird plots. I think she has something there. If you saw the coverage yesterday of the panicky night the honchos spent trying to hold off the IMF you can see how they might all be absolutely bananas with fear. The thought of losing their solid gold toilet fixtures and eight body guards a piece would make anything possible. I think Yeltsin’s vacant stare comes from too much room temperature vodka and white grease.

Snail mail being what it is in New York City, my Newsweek and New Yorker are not in my lobby today so I can’t comment on what my supposed coup-pal Mike Isikoff may have come up with this week but there is tomorrow and hopefully fatter news than today. Why do I get the feeling this is going to be a news-free week? Are you and I the only people in the world that are not at the beach?

See you in the ayem.