Dear Family, Friends, and Other Invited Guests

A few things you should know about our wedding.

Dear Family, Friends, and Other Invited Guests,

We are so happy you are going to join us on the Big Day!

You all have such a special place in our hearts, and we are delighted that you are planning to spend this weekend with us as we celebrate our love for you and one another.

Illustration by Mark Alan Stamaty

We want to make your stay as comfortable as possible, so there are a few things you should know about Lake Ponkawog. (The most important being that Bob proposed to Kathy on the eastern shore one year ago!) It’s hard to believe that the 12 months have flown by so fast. There were so many days when we thought we wouldn’t make it, either psychologically or financially, so the fact that we are getting married after all makes it even more special to us.

(Whoops! Bob is pulling Kathy’s hair and telling her to get to the point, so here goes.)


Located on scenic Lake Ponkawog, the “Inn at Lake Ponkawog” has two rustic cabins that sleep four to 12 each (depending on how you feel about sharing floor space). These will be assigned on a first come, first served basis. Everyone else will be assigned to one of 30 tent sites–unless of course you’d like to join Bob and Kathy and sleep out under the stars!

If you don’t own your own tent, you will be able to lease one from the inn, but in that case, please bring your own mosquito netting, as many of the inn’s tents are old and ripped, and the lake is famous for its KILLER Squites!


Love is not about keeping people out, it’s about inviting people in. In other words, we want to invite all those who would normally be excluded. Kathy is inviting her entire nursery school class so, please, hug a 4-year-old!

Meanwhile, if you believe in the domestication of animals as “pets,” that’s a personal choice.


Friday night there will be a nondenominational sunset ceremony (optional, but we hope you’ll come!) in front of the inn followed by a vegan cookout. (BYO soy products.)

Note: As you know, Bob’s sobriety is something that is really important to us as a couple, so please respect our wishes and keep this entire event ALCOHOL-FREE.

You’ll probably want to hit the sack early, b/c the nuptials themselves will take place at dawn (6:21 a.m.) Saturday morning on top of Great Big Mountain. Please allow yourselves plenty of time to reach the summit.

(If you’re not in shape now, you may want to consider embarking on a moderate program of weight training, alternating with aerobic exercise–call Kathy at work if you need some tips on getting started.)

For those who would prefer a guided ascent to the top, trail leaders will leave base camp at 4:30 and 5 a.m. The earlier departure time is for anyone desiring to scale the north face rather than taking the gentler trail option (7.2 mi./elev. 4,000 feet).

Do not pick the wildflowers, which grow in abundance (but not so abundantly as they did before the hand of Man came to destroy) on the side of the trail. RESPECT WILDLIFE and EACH OTHER.

For the group recitation in the oral response part of the ceremony we ask that you have Bob and Kathy’s poem “Earth and the Womb” memorized. (Packet enclosed.)

In lieu of a reception, Dr. Purdiswami will lead us in a silent meditation before the group descent and song-fest. Remember:

Don’t be shy–

Raise your voice to the sky!


A word on Uncle Ned. Bob’s birth mother has an older brother, Edmund, who is known in the family as “Uncle Ned.” In the past, Uncle Ned has been known to make rude and/or offensive statements about people of color, overweight people, those struggling with addictions, men under 5’4”, children, homosexuals, virgins, teetotalers, and registered Democrats. Please do not take any of his remarks personally, should you overhear them or (worst-case scenario) find them directed at you. Don’t let him get to you! If you find yourself trapped in a conversation with Uncle Ned, assume either the “Down Dog” or the “Warrior One” position and someone will come to your assistance as quickly as possible.


Take Interstate 40 to Exit 29. Make immediate left after toll onto unnamed/unmarked dirt road. Follow till road ends (approx. 23 miles).

Abandon car at trailhead and hike in four miles. When you come to the quarry, ford it. On a clear day, inn and lake should be visible from far side; otherwise, follow compass heading 172. Stay east of the swamp … and listen for the sounds of happy folks in joyous communion.

Good luck, no gifts … and see you on the 20th!!!