News Quiz

No. 18: “Test Test”

No. 18: “Test Test”

By Randy Cohen

Fill in the blank.

Attacking President Clinton’s evocation of executive privilege in the Monica Lewinsky inquiry, House Majority Leader Dick Armey said: “It doesn’t pass the _______ test.”

by noon ET on Tuesday to e-mail your answers (

Responses to Thursday’s question (No. 17)–“24-to-800”

Queen Elizabeth got by on two dozen, but President Clinton needs 800. What?

“Krispy Kremes.”–Patty Marx (Aaron Schatz had a similar answer.)

“Y chromosomes.”–David Rakoff

“Virile, young ‘assistants.’ “–Beth Sherman

“Excuses for their offspring’s unfortunate appearance.”–Larry Amaros

“It wouldn’t be corgis, it wouldn’t be handbags … hmm, changes of underwear?”–Nancy Franklin

“Points on the verbal half of the SAT. (The admissions standards for our universities are a bit more rigorous than those of European finishing schools.)”–Gloria D. Howard

“Let’s see: lawyers, interns, milligrams of penicillin per day, take-out menus. Once again it seems the truth, when it is revealed, will be both stranger and sadder than anything the topical comedians can dream up: ball gowns.”–Larry Doyle

“See, this is interesting, because it’s a question about an African expedition, and it’s almost the 100th anniversary of the Boer War, and if there’s one thing we learned–or failed to learn–there, it’s that tactics and technology beat brute numerical strength. Battle of Colenso and all that. So, see, it’s funny that Clinton is taking 800 when the queen only needed about 20. OK, not necessarily ‘ha ha’ funny. For ‘ha ha’ Clinton/Boer War funny you’d have to mention Generals ‘French’ and ‘De Wet’ and the ‘Boer’ ‘laying’ ‘siege’ to ‘Kimberley.’ “–Chris Kelly

Click for more responses.

Randy’s Wrap-Up

Sex, sex, sex–so much sexual response to such an open-ended question. Did I say open-ended? What I meant was: With so many continents to choose from, is it merely a coincidence that the president and the pope are touring Africa at the same time? As a matter of fact, yes, it is. Just as it’s a coincidence that Out of Africa won the Oscar for Best Picture in 1985, and in 1998 Chris Kelly knew the answer to the quiz but presented it with such wit and tact.


Entourage for a visit to Ghana. Today President Clinton flies in to Accra, the first stop on a six nation African tour, but he will not spend the night. The Ghanaian capital lacks enough hotel rooms for all his people.

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