Lives of the Starrs

“There’s going to be a war,” said James Carville, and it looks as if he was right. Chatterbox hears that reporters from a variety of news organizations, guided by a vast conspiracy of F.O.B.s, are checking into the Little Rock sex life of … Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr.

Somehow, Chatterbox doesn’t want to know about the sex life of Kenneth Starr. First, consider the aesthetics of it. (“She cooed as she stroked his balding pate …”). Second, Starr isn’t a president and didn’t get elected to be role-model-in-chief by denying to the voters accusations of adultery. Third, and most obviously, Starr isn’t accused of lying about anything under oath or encouraging anyone else to lie about his private life. …

Chatterbox prefers to think of Starr as a pious Sunday-school teacher and kids’ softball coach. Of course, if he’s having a wild fling with Susan Carpenter-McMillan … but that’s not rumored.