Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence Uncensored: “Wedding Planning Is Ruff”

This week, R. Eric Thomas and Paola de Varona discuss a Prudie letter: “Wedding Planning Is Ruff

R. Eric Thomas: Hi Paola! Thanks for chatting with me! To start, what did you make of this week’s letter and the age-old battle of kids vs. dogs?

Paola de Varona: What a classic sibling tussle going on here. As someone with an older sister, I totally understood where the sister was coming from. I’ve never heard of dogs as an excuse for a childfree wedding! But, at the end of the day, siblings do things we don’t agree with … all the time! Personally, I would prefer dogs over kids at a wedding, but that’s just me.

Eric: Yeah, this was a new one on me as well! I get it, conceptually, but since I am not a person of dog-owning experience, I have a lot of questions about how this wedding is going to play out. Would you want to go to this kid-free, dog-full afternoon wedding extravaganza?

Paola: It would be hectic, for sure. So many questions! Like, how many dogs would be there? And are they all well-behaved/would get along? Overall, it could be a messy party, but that’s probably half the fun!

Eric: How many dogs! This is the question! Is this a 101 Dalmatians situation? Is there a huge cuddle puddle of poodles? It sounds chill and also very involved, and I’m low-key stressed. That said, a wedding with all the pretense taken out of it is probably the best kind of wedding. What did you think of my suggestion to let the kiddos come if the LW’s sister was fine with watching them? I was hesitant about it, but ultimately felt like it was the only possible compromise.

Paola: It definitely sounds almost like an extension of their Saturday dog park hangs, which, I guess, is their favorite vibe! I think you were spot on with that suggestion—it seems like the least confrontational option. I think the LW should play up the fact that they’re worried the day will become stressful for the sister if the kids tag along. She was happy to leave them at home otherwise! But, ultimately if she did decide to bring them, I can’t imagine in all of the chaos the LW will be too caught up in their presence.

Eric: Agreed. I understand LW’s concern, but it doesn’t sound like she’d get stuck babysitting or anything. But your point about the sister being happy to leave the kids at home when she thought the wedding was going to be a bacchanal is so right. So her equation is booze>kids>dogs, which is fine I guess. We all have our own calculus for these things.

Paola: Haha sounds about right. I mean if I were her I’d leave the kids behind! She’s got to think about outfits, meal-time, and navigate their puppy etiquette? Sounds like a full day’s worth of work!

Eric: Truly! Not for me, that’s for sure! Okay, last question: We’ve all heard of kid-free weddings, for various reasons, and now we’ve been introduced to a dog-full wedding. If you were attending a wedding, what’s your ideal [blank]-full theme?

Paola: Oh man, that’s a good one. To keep with the theme of rivalries … how about a cat-full wedding? Margaritas and a bunch of cats laying around sounds like my typical Friday night, so it’d be a win-win for me.

Eric: Haha, that’s great! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! A cat-full wedding has a very different vibe but could be incredible! I would honestly go to all of these ceremonies, just to see what happens.