They say that Tiffany is the forgotten Trump child, the least Trump-y of the brood—among the adult children, anyway. But Tiffany really doesn’t get enough credit for the deep streak of Trumpishness that burns within her. For example, she chose the most deranged possible moment to announce her engagement: on the very last day of her father’s presidency. That’s the definition of “Be Best.”
Yes, Tiffany is engaged to her boyfriend of two and a half years, Michael Boulos, and she chose to share the news on this day, just as her father is being dragged, kicking and screaming, metaphorically but also possibly literally, from the White House. We can speculate endlessly about the timing of this announcement, and we will, but first, a refresher for all those who haven’t been paying attention to the most beautiful love story of our time: Who is Michael Boulos?
First of all, obviously, he is a scion. Tiffany’s scene is scion-heavy; does she know or speak to anyone who is not a scion? Unlikely. It has previously been reported—and though it has also been denied by a “source,” we are repeating it anyway, because it is so fun to think about—that the two met at Lindsay Lohan’s beach club in Mykonos, Greece. If they didn’t meet there, they definitely met somewhere like there—scions don’t circulate just anywhere. The thing Boulos is a scion of (is that how being a scion works?) is Boulos Enterprises, a multibillion-dollar conglomerate that makes and distributes vehicles, motors, and other equipment. The company is based in Nigeria, where Boulos grew up, though he was born in Lebanon (both countries I’m sure Tiffany’s father has never said anything ill-advised about). Boulos attended an international school in Lagos and then university in London, and at 23, he is four years’ Tiffany’s junior. What else, what else? He’s been in the mix at the White House and at Mar-a-Lago over the past couple of years, as have his parents, and his brother is a rapper who goes by the name Farastafari.
But back to the mystery of it all: Why announce the engagement today of all days? In terms of strategy, it’s not possible that Tiffany thought this news could at all detract from the negative attention her father is getting for inciting a coup and being impeached for the second time, right? Like the overwhelming swell of well wishes for the wedding of a … beloved daughter could drown out some of the heat? Seems a little delusional. Supporting the delusion theory: On Twitter, some guessed that Tiffany wanted to enjoy the special cachet of getting engaged in the White House, as the president’s daughter. If that’s your definition of cachet …
There’s also always the chance that Tiffany timed the announcement in some way to stick it to her father, not that she’s ever actually indicated she’s anything but supportive of her family and their politics. But pettiness and backstabbing are crucial parts of the Trump ethos that must be factored in.
The joke with Tiffany is often that her father and the rest of her family forget she exists. This led me to a truly dark thought, which is that Tiffany was afraid that her family wouldn’t notice or pay attention to her announcement unless the media covered it. Do they all even follow her on Instagram?
But my final theory for the weirdness of announcing the engagement today is … true love. What if it took Tiffany and Michael witnessing a violent insurrection, watching her father’s administration crumbling around them, imagining some of her family members going to jail, and all the other horrors of the final days of the Trump administration to realize that all they really cared about was each other? If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.