Picks

This Tongue Scraper Stopped My Morning Breath

It will yield sensations of both awe and distress.

Tongue Sweeper Pro

I learned everything I know about the dental arts from a dear friend of mine. He has a big toothy grin, and his breath is always neutral but fresh. At some point I decided to fold that aspect of his personality into mine. Enter the Tongue Sweeper Pro.

Why this one? Biocurv Medical Instruments’ scraper is more durable and sanitary than its plastic contemporaries. With the addition of a “Class 6 medical coating” and medical device number on each tool, they mean business. You can feel at peace setting this next to your finest dental instruments.

This tool looks like the Easter egg–kit apparatus that lowers boiled eggs into tiny cups of dye. The weight is light but sturdy, like military-issued cutlery. There is zero bend in its titanium frame, so you don’t lose any leverage (very important when it comes to scraping). And the metal construction means there’s no chance of a plastic bit snapping off in your mouth. Even if you did manage to bend it with a superhumanly strong mouth, it comes with a lifetime guarantee. Its nearly flat profile won’t incite your gag reflex, and if sterilization is a concern of yours, this baby is dishwasher-safe and autoclavable.

A couple of swift passes across your stuck-out tongue will yield sensations of both awe and distress. Gone is the cloudy layer of flotsam! Gone is bad breath! You’ll realize, as I did, that the amount of gunk not removed by simple brushing is … alarming. (Imagine squeegeeing your windshield for the first time after owning your car for several decades.) The scraping process only tacks on about six seconds to your routine, which is both shorter and less painful than a mouthwash gargle. Now I use my tongue scraper twice a day. If I’ve had an exceptionally spicy meal, I use it three times. Wake up with less morning breath and face the world with none. Aah.