Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence: The “Permanent Closet” Edition

I know my family will never accept that I am a lesbian. Am I disrespecting the queer community if I choose to stay in the closet forever? Help!

Listen now:

Listen to the Dear Prudence podcast via Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or Google Play.

Prudence is joined this week by author and activist Aya de León, who teaches creative writing at the University of California–Berkeley. She is the author of the Justice Hustlers feminist heist series, including Side Chick Nation, the first novel published about Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico.

Together, they tackle letters about what to do when a hiring manager calls your husband about a job that you applied to, how to handle nosy co-workers who question when you leave work to care for your son, what to do when your fat-shaming, homophobic colleagues chastise you for not wanting to socialize, what to do when you suspect your Jewish faith is keeping your girlfriend’s Mormon family at a distance, what to know if you’re planning on permanently staying “in the closet,” and whether you should say something to your friend about spending a lot of money on a mutual friend who already has a boyfriend.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and de León discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to tell her mother that she’s moving to her country of origin, despite her mom’s attempts to “erase” that part of her life after a bitter divorce.

The full Dear Prudence podcast is available exclusively to Slate Plus members. Access all of Prudie’s podcasts and columns here.

Got a question for Prudie? Send it to or leave a voicemail message at 401-371-DEAR (3327), and you may hear your question answered on a future episode of the show.

Production by Phil Surkis.