Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence Uncensored: The Cam-Guy Acquaintance

Every week, Danny Ortberg and Nicole Cliffe discuss a Prudie letter. This week: the cam-guy acquaintance.

Danny: so full disclosure, the original letter was longer than this and had a bit more of the “IMAGINE my SURPRISE when I saw his face…”/“I never thought it would happen to ME”-Penthouse-style

Nicole: Do nothing, say nothing.

Say nothing, do nothing.


Like, watch it or don’t watch it, but do not reverse-break the fourth wall here, my man!


Danny: right

Nicole: He’s an adult.

Danny: like, being as generous as possible and assuming this is real and that this person truly believes he wants what’s best for this 18-year-old

Nicole: He knows his real name is on it!

Danny: the best thing you can do is….nothing!


Nicole: RIGHT

Nothing sounds superb.

Danny: because imagine how SINISTER you will sound

if you say “Hey, a lot of people — not me, obviously, but a lot of people — might record your webcamming sessions. I bet your parents would be upset if they know about that!”


“You shall dance only for ME, my angel.”

Danny: everyone who does sex work or camping or any sex-adjacent work is aware that they’re risking anonymity and most of them know their family members probably have anti-sex-work views



so you’re not giving him any information he doesn’t already have

you don’t have any sort of relationship with him where he normally comes to you for advice or guidance

and you don’t want to hook up with him

so there’s nothing for you to do

Nicole: That’s the thing, for me: you are not his mentor.

Danny: go in peace to find another cam-guy

and frankly if you were I’d still probably have the same advice

Nicole: There are so many of them.


Danny: it’s legal, he’s able to do it without coming into contact with his viewers, it’s relatively safe - he’s not in trouble and you don’t need to protect him


like, why on earth would you tell his parents?

what good would that do? who would that help?

Nicole: That is the suggestion which made me extremely WHAT


Danny: it’s not a good idea!

it’s also a little rich

to suddenly be concerned about someone you were getting off to happily a week ago

Nicole: “What if OTHER PEOPLE are also doing this thing I am happily doing!!”

Danny: I hate to say it but


that’s why he’s doing it!

that’s literally why he is doing this!

Nicole: Oh, 100^

Danny: for the money and presumably the fun of being an exhibitionist

Nicole: Absolutely

Danny: help build a world where people don’t have to fear for their futures or job security or reputation based on their web-camming or related activities

by not threatening implicitly to tell his parents!

also, do bear in mind that telling his parents would necessitate telling a co-worker the details of your masturbatory habits

that is not conducive to a professional work environment!

Nicole: What a good reminder.

Danny: it’s just not information coworkers should have about one!

and SCENE.