Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence Uncensored: The Therapist and the Boyfriend

Every week, Danny Ortberg and Nicole Cliffe discuss a Prudie letter. This week: the therapist and the boyfriend.

Nicole: uhhhhhhh

I mean, I think you should find a new therapist but not bc I think anything happened!

Danny: it does seem odd, though!

“had to fire my therapist because things got too casual, no follow-up questions, why on earth would you think something happened between us?”

Nicole: I don’t think something happened! I think she’s just in a weird place in her relationship.


There’s honestly nothing coming from the therapist that seems especially odd – she smiled and mentioned your boyfriend – But you should go see one who didn’t used to treat your boyfriend.

Danny: i don’t think something big necessarily happened but i do think it’s weird that he’s acting like SHE’S weird for being unsure


Nicole: I don’t, really

Danny: but what does “too casual” mean with a therapist?

Nicole: I think it’s weird to go from “sessions got too casual” which can mean “ehh not going anywhere, too conversational to, like, “Did you have sex?”

I wish it was clear what “the fact I don’t trust him or myself” meant

Danny: Yeah, I wish that was clearer too


Nicole: Because it sounds to me like he did not say that

It sounds like “the one reason” is the him leaving bc “too casual”

And she is describing her own trust issues right after

but if HE said that (which again, I don’t think makes sense as a follow up) I would feel differently

To me it definitely sounds like the LW has a lot of anxiety and trust stuff and this relationship isn’t helping, even if the dude is fine.

And I would not see a therapist my bf used to see.

But there is not enough here for me to say anything more confidently than “get a new therapist”

Danny: yes i think that’s the only for sure thing


Nicole: you can get a new therapist for any reason


Danny: “the room temperature feels off in here”

Nicole: “ugh, a bowl of peonies on the front desk”

But yeah, I would never see a therapist my partner saw, it’s like how you cannot do couples’ counseling with one of your own individual therapists

Do not cross the streams!

Danny: man, I wish i could have had you on the podcast this week

because a guy wanted to take his family sailing for a year

Nicole: NO




For a YEAR?

Danny: he said, “my wife is supportive but less enthusiastic. I’m a pretty good sailor and i’m confident i could minimize the risks. We’ll homeschool the kids!”

Nicole: “less enthusiastic”

No, you’ll all die

Also, should I get these boots? [includes link to ridiculously ornate cowboy boots]

They’re too much but LOOK

Danny: get them immediately