Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence Uncensored: The Churlish Gifter

Every week, Danny Ortberg and Nicole Cliffe discuss a Prudie letter. This week: a mother-in-law who is angry that she received a homemade bedspread.

Danny​​: ok it’s time for some just good old-fashioned “what are you DOING”

Nicole​​: WHAT THE SHIT
WHAT THE SHIT
WHAT
YOU ARE THE WORST PERSON, FIX YOUR WHOLE LIFE

Danny​​: this falls into the category of “has to be a troll, but who wants to troll as ‘churlish receiver of knitwear’?”

Nicole​​: Definitely must be troll but if not HOW

Danny​​: I say this as somebody who HATES all knitted things and does not want to receive any knitted goods ever: if one of my in-laws spent half a year knitting me a bedspread, I would say, “This is so thoughtful, thank you so much, I love it” and I would put it on top of a more comfortable blanket so it never had to touch my skin

Nicole​​: YES OF COURSE
This is not a problem! You do not have a problem

Danny​​: but yeah, you are acting like a villain in an O. Henry short story, do not send a letter to your daughter-in-law telling her she is a monster for knitting you a blanket
“Imagine my dismay”
I…literally cannot?

Nicole​​: I’m trying my best
is this the “poor children trick or treat in my rich neighborhood” dame??

Danny​​: adults who get bent out of shape over holiday gifts are just like, a full 404 error in my mind
you are an adult! buy yourself something if you want it! a gift is basically just a way of saying “I care that you exist and I tried to think of something you might like,” say thank you and move on

Nicole​​: knitwear takes so much time to make and represents so much more thoughtfulness than buying you something
also I would never buy you knitwear bc I know how you feel about it.

Danny​​: if you ever DID, I would cherish it!!

Nicole​​: I know you would!