Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence: The “Unnecessary Shame” Edition

I’m in a long-term relationship, but I’m crushing hard on my co-worker. Help!

Prudence is joined this week by Grace Lavery, an assistant professor of English at University of California–Berkeley. Her first book, Quaint, Exquisite: Victorian Aesthetics and the Idea of Japan, will be released in 2019, and she is currently working on a book on the idea of technique. Together, Prudie and Grace take on letters about what to do when your new favorite skirt elicits unwanted reactions from strangers and friends, how to handle the urge to make your mundane tasks at work more titillating, what to do when your pill-popping husband is no longer welcome at family events, how to deal with a workplace crush when you also love your long-term partner, and finally, what to say to your parents when they show up empty-handed to your toddler’s birthday.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Grace discuss a letter writer who’s wondering what actions she can take after her husband falsely signed documents so that his colleague’s child can attend school in a different district.

Listen now:

Listen to the Dear Prudence podcast via Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or Google Play.

Access to the full Dear Prudence podcast is available exclusively to Slate Plus members. Learn more and listen to previous episodes at

Got a question for Prudie? Send it to Or leave a voicemail message at 401-371-DEAR (3327), and you may hear your question answered on a future episode of the show.

Read Prudie’s Slate columns here. Production by Phil Surkis.