Dear Prudence

Dear Prudence Uncensored: The Breastfeeder’s Husband

Every week, Danny Ortberg and Nicole Cliffe discuss a Prudie letter. This week: My husband doesn’t think I should breastfeed in public.

Nicole: Boy, I love being able to say “congratulations, you are right!” bc she IS right, but also he is allowed to feel weird about it if he wants to.

I think he’ll get used to it in time, obviously.

But you do not need to center his discomfort

not even a little bit

Daniel: sure! I think feeling weird is fine, but the solution to feeling weird is almost never “avoid the Thing”

Nicole: RIGHT

Daniel: especially when The Thing is your baby! eating food!

Nicole: A classic “get over it.”

I think it’s not uncommon when people have not spent actual time around breastfeeding people to have no idea what it actually looks like: basically nothing.

You see a person holding a baby close to their body!

Daniel: that’s pretty much it!

Nicole: There’s the “use a cover-up” compromise, but lots of babies won’t go along with that plan.

And the baby’s needs and wants are gonna swamp anything you hash out now

Also you are not pregnant!

Daniel: yeah I think a lot of these ideas are going to go out of the window once an actual baby arrives and makes demands

Nicole: Don’t borrow trouble, as they say

Daniel: right! but for your husband, this idea that he can just say “this idea makes me uncomfortable, so I’ll just stop going out to meals with you as long as our child (which is not yet born) is breastfeeding (assuming breastfeeding works for us) and that’s the last we have to say about the subject” is mistaken

also, you know, my guy, you will not be the person feeding a child with your body, so maybe dial it back!

Nicole: Correct.

Man, such a shame we agree on this completely.

I had a blast disagreeing last time!

Daniel: i’m sorry!

i could try again: BREASTFEED IN THE SHAME ATTIC

Nicole: BREASTS ARE ONLY SEXUAL

THEY BELONG TO YOUR MAN

Daniel: YOUR NIPPLES ARE AN AFFRONT TO THE GOOD LUNCH-GOING PEOPLE OF YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD

Nicole: POOPING IS A NATURAL THING TOO BUT WE DON’T DO IT IN PUBLIC

Daniel: COMPARING DEFECATION TO EATING IS A TOTALLY REASONABLE THING TO SAY, WHEN IT COMES TO BREASTS, FOR SOME REASON

Nicole: I JUST BELIEVE IN MODESTY, I’M OLD-FASHIONED LIKE THAT

Daniel: wait we messed it up

we’re still agreeing

Nicole: awww, hell

Daniel: We’ve just slightly exaggerated the other position

better luck next week!!!