This post is part of Nosh, a special pop-up blog about snacks. Read more here.
4/20—the informal holiday celebrating all things marijuana—is as much a festival of the munchies as it is of the increasingly legal miracle plant that causes them. But it can be hard to whip up something satisfying in the kitchen when your mind is … elsewhere. So Slate staffers and friends have assembled this little cookbook of our favorite pot-friendly creations to help you out. Enjoy!
I wanted a more civilized way to eat Nutella one, um, night, and I had some Nabisco Famous Chocolate Wafers left over from making a pie crust. I set myself up with the jar of wafers and the jar of Nutella and some whole milk and was very pleased. Nutella is sometimes a little too sweet for me; the wafers are darker chocolate and the right amount of crunchy. You spread these yourself, so you can control the dark-to-hazelnut chocolate ratio.
1 box Nabisco Famous Chocolate Wafers
1 jar Nutella
1 glass whole milk
1 butter knife, for spreading
Take a wafer. Spread some Nutella on it. Cap with another wafer, if desired! Eat. Repeat.
Co-developed with a friend for movie-night snacking, Cookie Pie is a laziness-proof baked treat with a surprising amount of versatility of flavor—perfect for noshing in front of the TV.
Cookie dough and a pie crust. They can be either store bought or homemade (but let’s be honest, they will almost certainly come in a tube and a tin from your local grocery store).
Simply line your pie crust of choice (graham cracker works especially well) with your choice of cookie dough, treating the cookie dough as though it were a pie filling. Bake until the cookie filling is at desired level of firmness—some prefer a very gooey cookie pie, while I prefer a cookie pie more al dente. Let cool a few minutes so that the filling is firm enough to cut into slices, and serve. Optional garnishes include whipped cream, maraschino cherries, and regret a few hours after consuming.
I love oil-popped popcorn as a late-night snack; it is salty and hot, you can make as much or as little as you want; it’s ready in like four minutes. But one night I was hunting for some way to give my popcorn a hint of sweetness, and found way back in the cabinet a box of Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios—a cereal too overpowering for prime time (uh, breakfast) but perfect for the tiniest sprinkling of chocolatey goodness. This recipe is very satisfying, very crammable, and will not lead to morning-after grossness and regret. It also can be prepared by anyone, regardless of sobriety.
Unpopped popcorn (anywhere from 1/8 to 1/2 cup)
A little melted butter
Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios, one handful
Pop the popcorn in the oil, letting it rest off the flame, lid still in, for one minute after popping concludes. Melt the butter. Toss everything in a bowl. Rest bowl on stomach while slouching in a chair.
Cheese on a Plate
A shy Slate stoner
My old roommates and I used to make this regularly. Very easy to make, quick, and most importantly, full of cheesy goodness.
Shredded cheese of your choice. The sharper the cheese, the better. Gruyere and aged Irish cheddar strongly suggested. About ½ cup per person.
Shred the cheese and sprinkle it on a microwavable dinner plate. No more than 1 cup per plate. Microwave in 30 second increments until you notice the edges getting crispy (about 90 seconds total). Remove and cool. Enjoy with a fork while watching something funny.
Peanut Butter Waffle Sandwich
This was a classic my high school boyfriend and I turned to again and again. My mom told me years later she could always tell I’d come home stoned when she heard me open the freezer. This recipe works because you pretty much always have these ingredients available. If you held my apartment upside down and shook it, 5,000 Nature Valley Oats ’n Honey bars would fall to the ground. I also always crave a savory late night snack option. So, if you too are sweet-toothless, this is for you.
2 multigrain toaster waffles (Stop & Shop Nature’s Promise is my preferred)
1/4 cup Crunchy peanut butter (Teddy’s Organic if available)
2 Nature Valley Oats ’n Honey Bars
Toast the two waffles then spread crunchy peanut butter on both halves. Put two Nature Valley bars in a plastic bag and crush them into their desired state (infinite crumbs). Apply the crumbs to both peanut butter–covered waffles and sandwich together. Cut sandwich in half and share with your companion.
Half-Assed Cookie Dough
I ripped this off from Georgia Hardstark of My Favorite Murder podcast fame—she briefly mentioned making this in an episode once, and I eventually got curious enough to try it myself. It’s basically the first three ingredients for cookie dough, but, it turns out, that’s all you need for a delicious and disgusting snack. Smokers will undoubtedly appreciate this down-home junk food for its accessibility and high sugar and fat content.
Equal parts butter and sugar (brown sugar, if the spirit of Mary Berry moves you)
Several drops of vanilla
Pop the butter in the microwave for a little bit, softening it in five-second bursts. DON’T turn it into liquid. When the butter is soft, beat it together with the sugar. Drop on a bit of vanilla. Consume.
Frozen Java With Worms
Cold Stone Creamery is a stoner’s paradise. It’s a relatively calm and antiseptic space that does exactly two things well: sugary smells and the presentation of a precise and extremely pleasant array of pastel ice cream colors and gooey toppings. It’s the perfect dose of pleasure for your tripped-out hippocampus. So it was that I landed in Cold Stones throughout high school, and how I began combining my two favorite snacks: coffee-flavored ice cream and gummy shit. I love gummy shit! And I love the taste of coffee. And so Frozen Java With Worms was born. I know many prefer the 7-11 Slushie or the gas station candy bar run. But I find the inevitably harsh gaze of the clerks too overwhelming to bear. Cold Stone’s employees by turn are just annoyed 14- or 15-year-olds—kind, naïve souls who could care less if my eyes are bloodshot red or if I’m drooling on the glass sneeze guard. And God bless them for it.
Coffee ice cream
Gummies, preferably the worm kind
Go to Cold Stone. Ask for coffee ice cream. Then ask them to add gummy worms.
Try not to drool on the sneeze guard.
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