A fundamentally nice guy, Donald Trump knows how to sandwich constructive criticism in compliments to make it go down easier. So when he called then–Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice a “bitch” in a 2006 speech, he prefaced it with a bit of flattery.
“Condoleezza Rice, she’s a lovely woman, but I think she’s a bitch,” Trump said at the Learning Annex’s Real Estate Wealth Expo, according to a New York Daily News report at the time. “She goes around to other countries and other nations, negotiates with their leaders, comes back and nothing ever happens.”
Rice’s ice-cold statement invites a few different interpretations. One is literal: She’s stoked for the election to be over, at which point, Michelle Obama willing, we will stop digging up and dissecting every petty insult that has ever dribbled from this chronic poop-thrower’s mouth. She might also be eager to see Trump lose and Hillary Clinton win, ending our bad nationwide acid trip and returning us to livable levels of political ennui.
But wouldn’t it be great if, instead of earnestly conveying her excitement for the end of the election, Rice were engaging in some advanced levels of shade diplomacy? “Can’t wait until November 9!” Sips tea. “Can’t wait until November 9!” Examines fingernails. “Can’t wait until November 9!” Winks at camera. This is the equivalent of a “Can’t wait for the wedding!” after your girlfriend leaves you for a hot, sleazy mess. It’s a “Can’t wait for performance reviews!” when an incompetent junior colleague takes credit for your brilliant idea. It’s a “That dress is super flattering!” at any time, ever. Really, Donald Trump? Condoleezza Rice is a danger to U.S. foreign policy? Exactly! You know what you’re talking about! Can’t wait until Nov. 9!
Rice already disavowed Trump in a Facebook post earlier this month, the day after the world first heard Trump brag to Billy Bush that he liked to sexually assault women. “Enough! Donald Trump should not be President. He should withdraw,” she wrote. “As a Republican, I hope to support someone who has the dignity and stature to run for the highest office in the greatest democracy on earth.” Can’t wait to see what Rice’s totally honorable political party cooks up next!