When one celebrity interviews another celebrity, the result is usually a mutual lovefest. But occasionally, since both parties’ defenses are down, you get a really amazing quote. Such is the case with a conversation between Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer in Lenny, Dunham’s newsletter, this week. After Dunham mentions that she and Schumer sat across from each other at the Met Ball (so relatable!), she describes her interactions with a famous football player in memorable terms. (Dunham wore a tuxedo to the Met Ball.)
I was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr., and it was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards. He was like, “That’s a marshmallow. That’s a child. That’s a dog.” It wasn’t mean—he just seemed confused.
The vibe was very much like, “Do I want to fuck it? Is it wearing a … yep, it’s wearing a tuxedo. I’m going to go back to my cell phone.” It was like we were forced to be together, and he literally was scrolling Instagram rather than have to look at a woman in a bow tie.
This may or may not be a fair characterization of Beckham’s behavior at the Met Ball. Maybe Beckham is just shy, or maybe he was in the middle of an important text conversation on his phone, or maybe he was just having a terrible night and didn’t want to make small talk. Perhaps (as the eternal rumors have it) he’s gay. Regardless, Dunham has tapped into a real phenomenon—men who really don’t know what to make of women who don’t sexually interest them—and I, for one, intend to borrow her marshmallow line the next time this happens to me.
The conversation also covers Schumer’s gun-control activism, her new book, and the recent controversy over offensive comments made by one of her writers, Kurt Metzger. Schumer says that Metzger was “being a troll” when he denigrated rape victims who don’t immediately go to the police, but she also says she understands why she was asked to address Metzger’s comments. “I get it, and I wasn’t even resentful of the connection. I was resentful of the lack of trust,” she explains. “Like, ‘Have I earned any good will with you guys? Do you believe that I feel that rape victims should be shamed on the internet?’ ” It’s at this point that readers might wish that Schumer were being interviewed by someone other than one of her friends. Dunham doesn’t press Schumer on the issue, and the two come to the least controversial conclusion ever: “No more raping.” That might not win Schumer and Dunham much good will on the internet, but it probably won’t make anyone mad, either.