Is speaking at a national political convention a prestigious gig? Because the list of the celebrities who will appear at the Democratic National Convention next week has started to trickle out and … there are a lot of randos on it! Debra Messing. Demi Lovato. Chloë Grace Moretz. Eva Longoria. Sure, these names are a step up from Scott Baio, Antonio Sabato Jr., and Kimberlin Brown—the inspirational speakers brought to us by the Republican National Convention—but they’re still decidedly B-list. So unserious, so Us Weekly! Wouldn’t you just as soon expect that group to do a reality show as endorse our president?
A quick rundown of why these four are such odd choices: Debra Messing is a big-time Democrat who was most recently in the news for getting into a Twitter war with Bernie Sanders supporter Susan Sarandon. Will & Grace was a while ago, she was not the best part of Smash, and Mysteries of Laura was canceled—Messing is not at the top of her game lately.
Eva Longoria, like Messing, was in a big TV show a few years ago and more recently has been on some canceled ones. Her political work is surprisingly legit, though! To the point that she’s actually spoken at one of these things before. Give someone else a chance to orate, Eva.
Demi Lovato, frequent quitter and then returner of social media and pusher of envelopes, is a pop singer with a rabid fanbase. Some of her songs are great. I also know that she recently broke up with Wilmer Valderrama. Not exactly the makings of a political leader.
And finally, Chloë Grace Moretz, the 19-year-old star of this summer’s Neighbors 2 and recent victim of bullying as collateral damage in the Kardashians’ fight with Taylor Swift. There’s nothing wrong with her exactly, other than the vague air of desperation that encircles her. Is she someone teens find inspiring? Seems doubtful. She is dating Brooklyn Beckham, son of Posh and Becks, and is close friends with Meghan Trainor, the woman ensuring that pop music stays annoying when Iggy Azalea’s not around. As discussed on the Who Weekly podcast, Trainor recently announced that she had no interest in voting, then promptly took that back. (Wonder if Chloë had anything to do with that? If so, I guess she’s already inspiring the youth.)
Some of the other speakers booked for the DNC more impressive and relevant, to varying degrees: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Erika Alexander, Lena Dunham, America Ferrara, Tony Goldwyn. But where are the real influencers? The Democrats certainly haven’t pulled together a dream team here. Do the Dems feel like they have such a slam dunk set for November that they don’t even have to try?
The process of wrangling these celebrities is no doubt diplomatically complex, but why not shoot for the stars? Instead of Kareem, give us Steph Curry or LeBron James. Instead of Demi Lovato, how about an Ariana Grande or a Kendrick Lamar? Even though he’s Canadian, Drake would be a welcome addition (and I feel like his DNC Instagrams would inspire a generation). Scandal’s Fitz is great, but Kerry Washington would have been ideal. We know they’re tight with Hil, so where are Abbi and Ilana? And Michelle Obama could have tried harder to lock down her friend Beyoncé, no? Pander to us, Democrats, show us how shiny and popular you are! Instead, you’re just showing us how desperate to be loved Chloë Grace Moretz is.