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Help! I Can’t Get Enough Dear Prudence.

Prudie answers more of your questions, only for Slate Plus members.

Mallory Ortberg.

Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Sam Breach.

Q. Want to try smoking: I’m in my early 30s and have never smoked even once. For as long as I’ve been around, my parents haven’t smoked. I’ve never dated a smoker (I’m single right now.) Lately, I’ve had an urge to do something “naughty”, and smoking seems like the obvious choice. I found a pro-smoking website with detailed instructions on how to start smoking. I’m planning to buy a lighter and two cigarette packs (one light and one full flavor), and then take it from there. Just thinking about this really excites me. I know this isn’t a good idea, but how bad is it really? In my saner moments, I tell myself that I can and will stop after two packs, or maybe sooner.

A: It’s very bad for you. You know it’s bad for you. You don’t need me to tell you how bad it is. You really don’t need instructions or a starter kit to take up smoking, but it sounds like you’re less interested in being talked out of this than you are in deriving a sexual thrill from the idea of picking up the habit. Why not keep the fantasy just that—a fantasy?