Texas’ new “campus carry” law won’t take effect until next August, but students are already primed to protest one phallic symbol with another. When the 2016 fall semester begins, University of Texas alumna Jessica Jin wants to see legions of dildos parading across the quad.
The bill, which passed in June, will allow anyone with a concealed handgun license to carry a concealed firearm on any college or university campus in the state of Texas. Institutes of higher education can exercise some discretion in applying the law, including regulating how guns are stored in dorms (because as of next year, guns will be allowed in dorms). But public universities will be prohibited from outright banning firearms on their campuses.
Jin’s response, via Facebook: “You’re carrying a gun to class? Yeah well I’m carrying a HUGE DILDO.” In an invitation to a “Campus (DILDO) Carry” protest, Jin encourages UT Austin students to strap “gigantic swinging” fake penises to their backpacks when campus carry takes effect—an act that could earn the carrier a $500 fine for a misdemeanor display of obscene material.
The protest, hashtagged #CocksNotGlocks, plays on the persistent myth of the “good guy with a gun,” a figure gun-rights enthusiasts say is the only thing capable of stopping a bad guy with a gun. Compared with guns, Jin writes, dildos are “just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play.”
In Texas, dildo rights have long lagged behind gun rights, and not just when it comes to campus carry. Until 2008, the sale of any sex toy was prohibited in the state. Today, stores can sell dildos to any individual—even felons and those with a history of mental illness—without a background check, although their safe, inert public display is still illegal.
Jin’s planned dildo offensive isn’t the first UT Austin campus carry protest (one economics professor emeritus has publicly resigned, saying the law has “substantially enhanced” his chance of being shot by an angry student), but it is set to be the largest. More than 4,000 people have responded in the affirmative to the Facebook event, and Jin is confident that she can deliver the necessary goods. “I know that quality dildos, especially super large ones, can be a little pricey,” she writes. “If we can gather enough willing participants, I will personally take it upon myself to put in the time and legwork to find a dildo supplier sponsorship.” May we suggest Nika Cherrelle, maker of the Trigger Happy vibrator collection?