Wisconsin governor Scott Walker—who has framed the fight for equal pay as “pit[ting] one group of Americans versus another,” who has called abortions performed to save a woman’s life the result of a “false choice,” who has indicated support for forcing C-sections on women who require a medically necessary abortion, and who has cited his assault on teachers’ and nurses’ unions as preparation for taking on ISIS as president—has a gift designed just for the ladies.
It’s a shirt! It comes with joy. To use the shirt, you jump up and down in a field. Look how happy she is! The shirt comes in three colors, including Reagan Red.
But hark—how is this shirt just for ladies? One lady of Slate speculated that it might have a roomier fit for when a lady patriot becomes pregnant—with joy, and also with a fetus whose existence is worth more than her life upon conception, and who might thereby feel empowered to purchase a shirt of her own, presuming the fetus is a lady, and also a patriot—but then we saw this disclaimer:
Another lady of Slate used Google to compare this shirt Designed Just for Ladies with other products and experiences Designed Just for Ladies. The search results included:
• a ladies’ day out at a winery at which you learn to paint a flower bouquet
• a “special course” at a firing range (“Collared shirts or high neckline suggested”; the firing range also offers bachelorette parties)
• steel blue work boots
• a church’s special service called “She Speaks”
So we don’t know! We accept the mystery. Who could be opposed to joy? I’m going to go find a field.