Pigging Out

A red river hog celebrates his birthday the right way.

Maybe it’s lingering guilt over the (delicious) roasted pig head at my own birthday dinner, but the above video makes me very happy. In it, the Cincinnati Zoo’s resident red river hog gets a very special birthday treat: a smorgasbord of fruit-centric delicacies fit for an aging pig.

The 7-year-old hog—aptly named Sir Francis (after Bacon, one assumes, not Drake)—quickly devours the feast, with appropriately joy-filled noises indicating his approval. The whole scene proves a universal truth once and for all: You will never be as happy as a pig on his birthday, eating a platter of messy, borderline disgusting slop.

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