Anthony Culler Warns: Beware the Gay Gremlins!

At the risk of giving this silly person more press than he deserves, we draw your attention to Anthony Culler, a Republican candidate for the U.S. Congress, running in the 6th district of South Carolina. Culler is challenging—with little chance of winning—popular Democrat incumbent James Clyburn, but his dim prospects haven’t stopped him from deploying creative (to put it generously) strategies in his quest to appeal to voters. In a recent Facebook post, Culler insulted the intelligence of his would-be constituents by childishly comparing gay marriage supporters to “gremlins”—yes, those gremlins. “Do not buy the ‘cuteness’ and ‘What will it hurt?’ arguments whispered in your ears and marketed to our children,” Culler exhorted. “Same-sex couples that seek to destroy our way of life and the institution of marriage are NOT cute and cuddly but rather (for those of you that are old enough to remember the movie), Gremlins that will only destroy our way of life.”

This is scary stuff, to be sure, so we at Slate have decided to help Culler get the word out, pro bono. If you’d like to warn your God-fearing neighbors about the gay gremlin threat, feel free to send them this PSA—it’s the decent thing to do.

In all seriousness, it’s worth noting that not even Culler’s own party supports these laughably offensive (to both gays and district voters) statements. South Carolina GOP chairman Matt Moore told the State newspaper that his party “believes in the conservative definition of marriage, but we also believe in loving our neighbors and treating them with respect. Mr. Culler’s desperate attention seeking in no way represents the good, decent South Carolinians across our state.”

Culler will definitely not be receiving the support of the state Republicans at this point; but if his zeal in a double-down Facebook video posted on Monday is any indication, that won’t keep him from spreading the message. The whole seven-minute thing is sort of wonderful for how pitiful it makes Culler look, but if you don’t want to take the time (I don’t blame you), here’s my favorite moment: “In the movie, let’s make a distinction here—“ Culler pauses for gravity. “In the movie, those creatures you had to keep out of the sunlight. The ones I’m talking about—they can’t get in the Son’s light. It’s a whole different ballgame.” Ouch.

I guess we can’t be totally sure upon whom Jesus is casting his light these days. But given that passing cars, wailing trains, and swarms of gnats all conspire to interrupt Culler’s hateful video shoot, you can’t help but wonder whose side the heavens are really on.