The XX Factor

Anthony Weiner’s Sexts Aren’t Depraved. They’re Boring.

Anthony Weiner is you

Mario Tama

Steel yourself for Weinergate, Part Deux: The gossip website The Dirty has published another round of sexually explicit messages between Weiner and an anonymous woman. Weiner has admitted that the chats, published on Facebook and Formspring, sometimes under the alias “Carlos Danger,” are his. “Carlos” messaged the then-22-year-old woman to tell her things like, “I must have cum thinking about you and looking at you 100 times. How does that make you feel? Gross?” and “I turn you around and bend you over the back of a chair. Your pussy asking for it.”

Yawn. This is not, of course, our first peek into Anthony Weiner’s dirty mind. The new flood of messages is potentially relevant to Weiner’s mayoral campaign for one reason: The Dirty alleges that these conversations occurred after Weinergate first broke in June of 2011, meaning that Weiner’s initial public apology to everyone he “misled” by his actions was yet another cover-up for his continued sexting of the American people. The conversations are undated, but in one message to the woman, he alluded to the scandal: “Sadly my pics are out there to look at. Have you ever?” She had, and she was “quite impressed.” If the messages are really dated post-Weinergate, they call Weiner’s current bid for New York City’s trust into question.

But some critics are using the publication of these private messages to insinuate something much worse about Weiner: That the dirty talk in his cybersexing sessions reveals him to be a particularly depraved (and even criminal!) candidate. To that I say: Let he who has not sexted cast the first stone.

Understandably, Twitter is on fire with jokes about Weiner’s absurd online alias, “Carlos Danger.” It is, in fact, an extremely stupid name. But don’t pretend that Weiner wasn’t in on the joke. Before Weiner became infamous for thinking with his dick instead of his brain, he was known for his incisive sense of humor on the talk show circuit. He probably thought the name was hilarious, too. Other takes on wave two of Weinergate, meanwhile, insinuate that Weiner is more dangerous than he is foolish. The Daily Caller focuses its piece on one message in particular in which Weiner told the woman, “would you let me hold your hair while you gagged on my cock?” The implication is that Weiner is, at best, porn-addled, and at worst, potentially violent. But hey, some women are into talk like that. The anonymous woman’s response to Weiner’s question was simply, “Absolutely.”

In the most egregious read of Weiner’s sexts, The Dirty titled one part of its Weiner expose “EXCLUSIVE: Anthony Weiner Is a Sexual Predator Luring His Victims.” The evidence? Weiner didn’t exclusively approach this woman for sex; he also sent her messages like “Why are u awake?” and “My cat sat down on my keyboard.” According to The Dirty, the woman “really thought” she and Weiner were “in love.” He once promised to buy her a condo in Chicago to stage an in-person tryst. And then there’s this big shocker: “Anthony Weiner has a shoe fetish, particularly heels.” High heels! Can you believe this freak?

What would the American public find if it combed through all of your Facebook messages, Twitter DMs, and Gchat history? If it had an exclusive peek into your webcam, or could scroll through your iPhone pics at will? This great nation is littered with hard drives full of poorly lit topless pics, broken promises to former lovers, and messages that sounded sexy at the time but look very stupid now. Anthony Weiner’s sexts don’t make him look like a sexual predator or even a freak. They make him look very, very ordinary.