The XX Factor

Is Unconditional Love the Enemy of Lust? Yes, So I Choose Lust.

Photo by Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

Earlier this week, we asked readers to write in telling us if they think unconditional love actually kills desire. Many responded. We’ve been publishing some of those responses Friday. This is the last one.

From: Brenda

I am a 42-year-old female. I started sexual activity and exploration at a very early age, probably younger than most. As I have grown into a woman and have had everything from longer relationships to one-night stands, I have come to terms with what I want sexually. The whole “being in love” thing just never felt right, and it never got the job done, either.

I know that women are supposed to want unconditional love and commitment, monogamy from their partner, and the white picket fence, but if this were the case, why is it that so many romance novels are about the women being taken by the handsome stranger?

I do have an animal desire. I think women settle for what they think they want, but then at some point the balloon of expectation gets deflated when they realize they have lost their desire. I have always entered my relationships and encounters with the expectation of no expectation. What thrills me is the moment. I see him or he sees me, and he actually has the guts or tenacity to break through my icy veneer. Lust, passion, and pleasure are what I want. Unconditional love I already have from my child, grandmother, and my family.

Previously in this series:

Is Unconditional Love the Enemy of Lust? No, It Makes Me Braver in Bed.

Is Unconditional Love the Enemy of Lust? No, Sweatpants Are.