At some point last year I wondered if super skinny pants were on their way out of fashion. The divisive harem pant seemed to be displacing the very snug style among the famous and the extremely fashion-forward , so I expected that those dumpy trousers would trickle down to the mass market. Not so! Our national craze for painted-on pants continues. Exhibit A: Jessica Simpson’s nana is a jeggings enthusiast. As Simpson tells New York magazine :
I can fill all different kinds of genres in fashion, music, TV, film, personality. … I just relate to all of it. So we reach out to all ages. Like just the other day my nana asked for a pair of jeggings because we sent her a pair of boots that went up to her knee, and she was like, ‘For this I think I need a pair of jeggings.’
Not only are jeggings now part of the grandmotherly repertoire, but guys are getting in on the act, too. Levi’s is peddling a style they call the Ex-Girlfriend jean . They describe the fit of said jean as “super snug allover” and “as skinny as it gets.” Let us not forget that there are already skinny jeans for toddlers . Soon every man, woman, and child will be able to suffocate their nether regions if they so desire. When, oh, when will the tide turn away from the tyranny of tight pants? When will our legs be allowed to breathe again?