You know how sometimes on Saturday Night Live they take famous people and have them say absurd things but in their normal cadence-like Jesse Jackson reading Green Eggs and Ham ? This is how I feel about the idea of Al Gore saying the words, ” crazed sex poodle ,” which is what a Portland masseuse accuses him of saying to her when he pulled her back into the room and tried to get her to do things that were not included in the $540 massage package. The only thing that makes this plausible is that Gore apparently signed up for the massage under the name of “Mr. Stone,” which is the name you would use if you were imagining yourself playing a role in a porn sketch.
The latest detail is that the woman saved the pants she was wearing that day (four years ago!), which apparently have some suspicious stains. Why were there “suspicious stains” if she escaped from the room? Do “suspicious stains” make for good DNA evidence four years after the fact?
And has Al Gore, in his retirement, become what we though Bill Clinton would be? (Although, to be fair, the woman is at least twice Monica’s age.)
(Here’s the police report , which makes for fascinating reading).