The XX Factor

John Mayer’s Penis Is a White Supremacist

Hot of the heels of his quasi-hilarious February Rolling Stone interview-you know, the one where he was all too pleased with his tweet-esque middlebrow taglines about his hard-knock dating life (“Blowing me off is the new sucking me off”)-John Mayer is logorrheaic again in an interview in April’s Playboy where he rehashes his misery (This time: “Turning me down is the new sleeping with me”) and attempts to refute his reputation as a douchebag. His explanation: “I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douchebag.”  Does this make sense to anyone? Or has Mayer been inside the house too much, substituting human interaction with a full-length mirror and a high speed Internet connection? In all honesty, I kind of wanted to like Mayer’s whole deliberately unfluffed media persona (his Twitter account IS funny ), but it’s starting to wear on me mostly because it reads like either 1) a stream-of-consciousness rant on some form of speed when the narrative voice should be on anti-depressants or 2) a painfully constructed persona of a funny, I-don’t-give-a-fuck-celebrity, rather than an actual funny, I-don’t-give-a-fuck-celebrity.

I’m sure we will all be hearing much about this line in days to come:

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

Breaking news: John Mayer’s penis is racist! (Though note: his heart loves people of all races hot enough to be in a Benetton ad.) I mean, Jesus, John Mayer, where is your publicist?