I love lists. Here’s why:
2. They’re aesthetically pleasing.
3. They give me a sense of control.
Wendy Braitman shares my list love. On her website, firstpersonsingular.org, she has already given us 94 Reasons the Man I’m Dating Isn’t Right For Me followed swiftly by 94 Reasons Why the Man I Haven’t Met is Right For Me . If you enjoy writing neatly in a vertical column, send me your practical, silly or serious lists to firstname.lastname@example.org. Meanwhile, for Your Comeback, Wendy has created a brand new list: Despite What My Mother Told Me, There is an Upside to Being Single .
Hair length is not up for discussion.
Your chores are your own.
The decision of when to leave parties is completely up to you.
You get to choose between the window and the aisle.
No in-laws to ingratiate yourself with.
Far less laundry.
Temperature in the house (and car) is exactly as you like it.
No one to tell you not to wear that sheer blouse.
Music selection (and volume) is your call.
Your good mood isn’t at risk because of someone’s bad day at the office.
More time for hobbies.
No reason to account for those expensive shoes you just bought.
Closet space for those shoes.
You get to decide what movie to see, what time to see it, and where to sit.
Knowing those cookies you’re looking forward to will still be there when you want them.
Hope of new sex.
Sidestepping the expectation and ensuing disappointment when you’re not listened to.
Not compromising on your career path, even if that means being a workaholic.
A quiet night’s sleep.
Toilet seat is exactly where you left it. Down. And on that note, bathroom is cleaner.
No need to temper that obsessive love for your pet(s).
During the dark night of the soul, not having to wonder if you’ve settled.
Having loads of gay friends.
Vacations never need to include camping.
Recounting your sagas the way you want to, without fear of being corrected.
No bickering. Really. We don’t “bicker” with friends.
Along those lines, no reason to nag.
When that towel is on the floor, there is only you to blame.
If you want to be on time, be on time. If you want to be late, be late.
Not worrying that it somehow reflects badly on you when your spouse gains weight.
For those still getting newspapers: getting first crack at the sections you want
Not fretting over whether you’ll get a gift for important life cycle events.
No one holding a mirror up to your most annoying traits.
The most comfortable chair in your home is always available.
More room on the bookshelves.
You can sleep on a diagonal.
Expensive body wash lasts at least twice as long.
Way fewer crumbs.
There’s no one to answer, “Do I look fat in these pants?”
Wendy Braitman is a 20-year media veteran, who began her career in San Francisco as an on-air journalist and producer in radio and television.