As per the Olympic movement’s mandate “to place sport at the service of the harmonious development of humankind, with a view to promoting a peaceful society concerned with the preservation of human dignity,” the figure skating portion of the 2022 Winter Olympics ended with a big exhibition gala on Sunday in which Georgia’s Morisi Kvitelashvili painted himself blue and dance-skated to the tune of Will Smith’s version of “Friend Like Me” from the live-action reboot of Aladdin. Kvitelashvili wore his big blue costume very well. But did Kvitelashvili wear it better than the many other figure skaters who also donned hokey costumes and skated to their own hokey music of choice? As my final act at the helm of the Beijing Games version of Five-Ring Circus, I intend to definitively answer this very important Winter Olympics question.
Who Wore It Better: The Guy Dressed Like a Lumberjack or the Guy Dressed Like the Genie From Aladdin?
Verdict: The guy dressed like the genie from Aladdin wore it better.
Who Wore It Better: The ’80s Fitness Couple or the Guy Dressed Like the Genie From Aladdin?
Verdict: The guy dressed like the genie from Aladdin wore it better.
Who Wore It Better: The Gold Medalist Dressed Like a Glow-in-the-Dark Bird or the Guy Dressed Like the Genie From Aladdin?
Verdict: The guy dressed like the genie from Aladdin wore it better.
Who Wore It Better: The Naked Italian Sex Couple or the Guy Dressed Like the Genie From Aladdin?
Verdict: The guy dressed like the genie from Aladdin wore it better.
Who Wore It Better: A Capsized Bing Dwen Dwen Being Hugged by Yuzuru Hanyu or the Guy Dressed Like the Genie From Aladdin?
Verdict: The guy dressed like the genie from Aladdin wore it better.
Congratulations, Morisi Kvitelashvili!
