Brow Beat

John Oliver Returns With a Look at the Next Pandemic

John Oliver sits at an anchorperson desk; a cartoon image of a smiling virus is on the screen behind him.
What a happy little guy! HBO

Last Week Tonight returned to HBO on Sunday, and, as is his custom, John Oliver did not waste any time before throwing the audience into a deep pit full of extremely depressing information. To be fair, he thoughtfully suggested an off-ramp to anyone who wasn’t in the mood: “If you want to see a British person do something hot or interesting, go watch Bridgerton—lot of jizzing in blankets on that show.” Once the faint-of-heart had punched out to watch period-accurate jizz, though, things got pretty bleak. Although the end of the coronavirus pandemic is only just coming into sight, Oliver dedicated this week’s show to the next pandemic. It turns out we’re not prepared for that one either. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Oliver’s look at the near-certainty of another global pandemic raises many troubling questions, most urgently, “What the hell was that alligator video and how can I see the entire thing?” In sharp contrast to most public health questions, this one has a simple answer: The video is called “Its Flat Fuck Friday You Fucking Losers,” and here it is:

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Last Week Tonight is only 30 minutes long, which means the show rarely has time to cover all of the nuances of the complicated topics it addresses, and this week’s episode was no exception. What I’m saying is, there is also a Christmas-themed version of “Its Flat Fuck Friday You Fucking Losers,” and it’s called “Flat Fuck Is Coming to Town.”

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As for the rest of the segment, in which Oliver painstakingly makes the case that we are racing toward viral doom on a planetary scale but are unwilling to do any of the things we’d need to if we wanted to change course, you can find out many other interesting facts about alligators and crocodiles at your local library.

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