Brow Beat

John Oliver Warns That Resuming Sports Might Be More Complicated Than It Seems

John Oliver turned to the world of sports on Sunday’s episode of Last Week Tonight, examining how wrestling, mixed martial arts, baseball, and others are planning to come back amid a global pandemic. “One of the things that sport does best is to bring people together in times of crisis,” he said. “Unfortunately, though, bringing people together is the exact thing we should not be doing right now.” Oliver broke down the flaws in various strategies for athletes returning to work—except for marble racing, a sport as thrilling as it is social distance–friendly.

At the mention of wrestling, Oliver was unable to resist the chance to invite Adam Driver to “chokeslam me to hell, you nasty shed.” He also took a pause to reflect on his ongoing obsession with Driver, wondering whether he’s bothered by Oliver’s continued sexualization of him through over-the-top, masochistic come-ons each week and musing that the actor might even have grounds to sue. “To which I say: Do it. Slap a restraining order on me, you forlorn block. Beg me to stop, you menacing obstacle.”