Japanese billionaire Yusaku Maezawa, the founder of the online clothing retailer Zozotown, is finally ready to settle down with a special lady to share the tranquil pleasures of domesticity—until 2023, when he and that special lady will BLAST OFF ON A FLIGHT TO THE MOON, according to the BBC. Naturally, there’s a reality TV connection: Maezawa’s search for love is going to be chronicled in “Yusaku Maezawa’s serious matchmaking documentary Full Moon Lovers,” according to the official website from Japanese streaming network AbemaTV. It’s never a good sign when you have to reassure people that you’re serious, but Maezewa’s explanation for making the show and then taking his new girlfriend to the moon makes a lot of sense:
I’m sure I’ve been able to acquire my share of money, social status, and fame along the way. But now I’m restarting my life. I’m 44 now. As feelings of loneliness and emptiness slowly begin to surge upon me, there’s one thing that I think about: Continuing to love one woman.
Under those circumstances, it’s not clear what other choice Maezawa had: As poets have known for centuries, the only cure for feelings of loneliness and emptiness is a stiff dose of reality television, followed by some quality time orbiting the lifeless, empty wasteland of the moon. Maezawa, who says he wants to “shout our love and world peace from outer space,” isn’t making Ralph-Kramden-style empty threats: He has been planning a moon flyby as part of SpaceX’s space tourism project since 2017, and, now that he’s split from his 27-year-old girlfriend Ayame Goriki, a seat on the flight is available. If you’re interested in being one of the lucky contestants in Maezawa’s “serious one-on-one planned matchmaking event,” here are the qualifications:
• Single woman aged 20 or over.
• Bright personality and always positive.
• Interested in going into space and able to participate in the preparation for it.
• Want to enjoy life to the fullest.
• Be someone who wishes for world peace.
You also have to “Be someone who is willing to date a Japanese billionaire who plans to take you to the actual moon,” but these days, who isn’t? Maezawa is not the first billionaire to attempt to lure genetically superior young women into outer space: California billionaire Hugo Drax of Drax Industries famously took an entire crew of highly-eligible singles into orbit with him back in 1979:
Drax ended up spending significantly more time in space than he’d originally planned, but if all goes according to plan—and assuming Maezawa’s offer isn’t simply a front for some kind of world domination scheme or secret moon colony—the billionaire and his beloved contest winner will be back on earth six days after takeoff. Unless, of course, they come back early:
Applications to compete for the love of a Japanese billionaire on reality television and then travel with him to the literal moon close at 10:00 a.m. JST on Jan. 17, so don’t waste any more time: apply now.