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Now You Must Watch Shania Twain Perform a Medley of Her Greatest Hits at the American Music Awards

Shania Twain performing at the AMAs in a pink robe; male dancers in cheetah-print vests and cowboy hats surround her.
There is no alternative.
Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Now you must watch Shania Twain perform a medley of her greatest hits at the 2019 American Music Awards. We understand that it is possible that you have already watched Shania Twain perform a medley of her greatest hits at the 2019 American Music Awards, either because you were present at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles on Sunday evening or because you watched it on television. Please believe us when we tell you that this is entirely irrelevant. You must watch Shania Twain perform a medley of her greatest hits at the 2019 American Music Awards and you must watch Shania Twain perform a medley of her greatest hits at the 2019 American Music Awards now.

Although we acknowledge the existence of free will in certain situations, you will soon come to understand that this is not one of them. Tell us, are you “choosing” to read these words, or does your mind compulsively turn pixels into letters into sounds into words into meaning, whether you want it to or not? When you hear the opening riff from “Man! I Feel Like a Woman,” do you get a vote as to whether or not you recognize it? You will not “decide” to watch this video of Shania Twain performing a medley of her greatest hits at the 2019 American Music Awards, any more than a raindrop “decides” to fall. Any precautions you may take to avoid watching Shania Twain perform a medley of her greatest hits at the 2019 American Music Awards will be utterly futile and embarrassing for all concerned. We trust that this warning will suffice.

The time is now. We will brook no further delays. We insist that you watch Shania Twain perform a medley of her greatest hits at the 2019 American Music Awards.

Unfortunately, it appears that we have severely overestimated our own ability to change the inexorable course of fate. Although we had decided to embed a video of Shania Twain performing a medley of her greatest hits at the 2019 American Music Awards on this very webpage, it is now clear that Fortuna has other plans for us. Specifically, Fortuna has plans for us to post a hyperlink that will allow you to travel to ABC’s website, where you can watch Shania Twain perform a medley of her greatest hits at the 2019 American Music Awards. Posting this hyperlink is our destiny, just as watching Shania Twain perform a medley of her greatest hits at the 2019 American Music Awards is yours. There is no other way.

NOW YOU MUST CLICK HERE AND WATCH SHANIA TWAIN PERFORM A MEDLEY OF HER GREATEST HITS AT THE 2019 AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.