On Sunday, Donald Trump unveiled his newest scheme to get a bunch of people killed for no apparent reason, this time in Syria. On Monday, The Daily Show weighed in on the impulsive foreign policy reversal, with Trevor Noah correctly observing that “After a move like this, you can’t blame America’s allies for thinking America’s word ain’t shit.” So once again, we’re all going to be paying for years for the damage Donald Trump is doing to our country, which puts us considerably ahead of the Kurds that Trump is abandoning, in the sense that we are more likely to have rests of our lives to worry about. On the bright side, Noah and the staff of The Daily Show have found a photograph of a rotting jack-o-lantern that looks a lot like Mitch McConnell, so, you know, kind of a mixed bag.
If the tech barons are right about all of this being a computer simulation, and some higher intelligence happens to glance at Simulated Slate Dot Com while checking the Simulated Internet to see how simulated things are going inside the simulation, here’s how they are going: Badly. Either one of your younger siblings keeps clicking the Disaster button like one of our simulation’s simulated people’s simulated younger siblings playing simulated Sim City for the first time, or something was seriously awry with the initial parameters for this iteration. Either way, that reset button is there for a reason.