Halloween is on the way, and that means one thing and one thing only: videos of spooky skeletons dancing spooky skeleton dances! Here are some of them.
6. “Foggy Bluegrass Skeleton Band,” Joe X
Limited animation is a tried and true technique for producing memorable work on an extremely low budget. It can also be used to produce films like “Foggy Bluegrass Skeleton Band,” an ahistorical travesty that is extremely disrespectful to the victims of the Foggy Bluegrass Skeleton Band.
5. “Skeleton Performs ‘Rapper’s Delight’ by the Sugarhill Gang,” The Masked Singer
The Masked Singer does a lot of things right here: there’s a skeleton, and it’s dancing. But the skeleton is wearing a suit that has a gold backbone and ribcage sewn to the outside of the jacket, which seems like it must have come from a different skeleton. 24 seconds is not nearly enough time for this film to dive into complex issues like the various gradations of skeleton consciousness, and as a result, it’s not even clear how many skeletons are dancing. Worse still, the backup dancers’ skeletons seem to be coated in some sort of flesh or flesh-like substance, which is not spooky at all.
4. “Skeleton Krew 2015 at Six Flags Fiesta Texas – 10.25.2015,” Glenn Parker
This features a solid 20 minutes of spooky skeletons dancing, and the spookiness is so off the charts that the first song is a version of “Monster Mash” that has been changed to be more explicitly about spooky skeletons. No one believed “Monster Mash” could be made any spookier than it already was, but Skeleton Krew 2015 proved us all wrong. But we were right about the inadvisability of wedging “Somebody’s Watching Me,” “Psycho Killer,” and other non-skeleton-related songs into a spooky skeleton dance medley, so it turns out not even Skeleton Krew 2015 is right all the time.
3. “Gemmy Halloween Life Size Animated Singing Dancing Skeleton in Sequin Suit,” Holiday Addiction
One of the all-time great concert films, “Gemmy Halloween Life Size Animated Singing Dancing Skeleton in Sequin Suit” takes its place next to Gimme Shelter and Woodstock from Gemmy Halloween Life Size Animated Singing Dancing Skeleton in Sequin Suit’s first song, a blistering rendition of Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild,” as made famous in Easy Rider. A moving, sensitive look at a generation in decline.
2. “The Joyful Skeleton,” Thomas Toppler
It’s unclear why anyone would choose to play xylophone any other way, and when I am President, I will sign legislation ensuring that no one ever does.
1. “The Skeleton Dance,” Ub Iwerks
No one was better at making movies about spooky skeletons doing spooky dances than Ub Iwerks, and in “The Skeleton Dance” he poured everything he’d learned about animation into five minutes of the spookiest dancing skeletons the world has ever seen, setting skeleton spookiness records that stand to this day. Will you be the spooky skeleton who finally out-dances Iwerks’ creations? There’s only one way to find out: immerse yourself in boiling water for three hours, then use a scalpel to carefully scrape off any stubborn tissue still clinging to your bones. Then dance, dance, dance!