Brow Beat

Sylvester Stallone’s Rambo Is Back and Ready to Harvest Some Lives

Sylvester Stallone posted an awkwardly cropped teaser for his upcoming Rambo flick, Rambo: Last Blood, to his personal Instagram today. That’s right—the Commie-hating, snake-wrangling, hippie-hating 1980s ass kicker is still kicking ass and still taking names more than 20 years into his AARP membership. As seen in a full-length trailer released earlier this summer, this installment of the bloodthirsty ’80s franchise sees Old McRambo living the quiet life on a secluded country farm where he likes to ride horses, sharpen knives, set traps, and contemplate the horrors of Vietnam from his favorite rocking chair. The paranoiac tranquility of Rambo’s country life all comes crashing down when his niece is abducted by an evil drug cartel, forcing him to, according to the fact sheet provided by Lionsgate, “confront his past and unearth his ruthless combat skills” on a “deadly journey of vengeance.”

That’s pretty much the gist of the teaser posted by Stallone today. It begins with shots of the young, starry-eyed, headband-loving Rambo we know and love from the 1980s, reminding us of all his various expertise in the art of, well, what else? Murder! We then cut to the present, where Old McRambo proves that old habits die hard—pun intended—and proceeds to set deadly traps made out of farm equipment, blow up several large sport utility vehicles, mow down bad guys with a semiautomatic high-capacity assault rifle, show off his archery skills, and stab, stab, stab.

Rest assured, folks—Rambo’s back and going full farmer. But where most farmers these days have to deal with boring things like Trump’s “trade war,” the only war on Old McRambo’s farm is a war on human life. Just how much bounty will his blood harvest yield? Assuming the film doesn’t stir up any unforeseen ire from the Oval Office, audiences won’t have to wait long to find out. Rambo: Last Blood is scheduled for theatrical release on “eptember 20th” (or September, if you watch the trailer on YouTube). Just remember, as Stallone reminds us in his Instagram post, “HE DID NOT START IT, BUT HE WILL END IT.”