Brow Beat

Remembering David Berman Through His Lyrics and Poems

Slate contributors on their favorite lines from the late singer-songwriter and poet.

David Berman surrounded by some of his lyrics
Photo illustration by Lisa Larson-Walker. Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

Poet and singer-songwriter David Berman, who recorded music with the bands Silver Jews and Purple Mountains, died on Wednesday at the age of 52. In a review of Berman’s new album last month, Slate music critic Carl Wilson reflected on the wordsmith’s career, calling him “arguably one of the greatest songwriters of his generation, if you could scare up enough people who’d heard of him to have the argument.”

In the hours after the first reports of his death, many fans began sharing their favorite Berman poems and lyrics, so we asked Slate critics and contributors to pick some of his lines and write about what those poems and lyrics meant to them.

My Father, My Attack Dog

David Berman and I briefly crossed paths in Oakland, California, in the late 1990s. He had been a college friend (and sometime ego ideal) of my then-boyfriend, a musician a few years his junior who’d followed Berman’s band, Silver Jews, as it developed out of a collaboration between Berman and fellow University of Virginia grads Stephen Malkmus and Bob Nastanovich, the future founders of Pavement. Sometime around the release of Silver Jews’ third album, American Water, David met us for dinner with another UVA alum and later came by my boyfriend’s apartment to listen to music (a process that then involved sifting through tabletop piles of CDs while singing the praises of the one you were about to put on, provided it was in its case) and talk.

So I encountered Berman as a person—tall, balding, soft-spoken, a bit ill at ease in his skin but in conversation fully present, with a sly sense of humor—before I had ever heard his music. This encounter has inflected my subsequent experience of listening to his songs and, after his poetry collection Actual Air came out in 1999, reading his words. When he opens his sparely perfect song “The Wild Kindness” on the line “I wrote a letter to a wildflower,” it sounds not like a poetic flight of fancy but like an activity that an odd, thoughtful man might plausibly have engaged in “on a classic nitrogen afternoon.”

Berman’s song lyrics tend toward a genial shagginess, the rhymes one phoneme off from perfection, their bumpy irregularity part of their charm: “When I try to drown my thoughts in gin/ I find my worst ideas know how to swim,” he sings in “That’s Just the Way That I Feel,” a song from the first (and now only) album from his second band, Purple Mountains, released last month after Berman’s disappearance from the music scene for a decade. But in the chorus of that same song, a mournful bit of wordplay hints at the lyrical virtuosity Berman could let fly when he wanted to: “And when I see her in the park/ It barely merits a remark/ How we stand the standard distance distant strangers stand apart.”

By the time Actual Air was published—and almost immediately achieved the kind of cult status that a poetry collection, outside of very tiny circles, rarely does—I was living on the other side of the country from the boyfriend who had introduced us, so I could experience Berman’s words for myself. There are so many moments in that slender book’s pages that stay with me: the black asthma inhaler that the woman in “Imagining Defeat” brings to her lips, making the lover she’s about to leave think she’s biting into a plum. Or the way Berman breaks off in the middle of “Self-Portrait at 28” to address the reader directly, as if impatient with the opacity of language itself: “I am trying to get at something so simple/ that I have to talk plainly/ so the words don’t disfigure it.”

But the piece of writing I want to focus on here is neither a song nor a poem: It’s a message-board post on the website of Berman’s record label Drag City in January 2009, only hours after he announced on the same forum that he was dissolving the band and retiring from music.

The reasons Berman gave for leaving behind the life of a professional singer-songwriter had to do with creative restlessness and a desire to try his hand at other things: “I guess I am moving over to another category. Screenwriting or Muckraking. I’ve got to move on. Can’t be like all the careerists doncha know.” But in the three hours that separated that ironic and affectionate letter to his fans (signed “love david”) from the next post, Berman must have done some serious soul-searching. At 9:29 that night he posted a second time, this time in a fiercely confessional tone, admitting to his “gravest secret,” which he called “worse than suicide, worse than crack addiction.” That secret was the identity of his father, the lawyer and lobbyist Richard Berman, sometimes called “Dr. Evil” (a nickname he has embraced) for his creation of industry-funded front groups that sought to undermine causes from Mothers Against Drunk Driving to campaigns against tobacco and efforts to increase the minimum wage. In this second post, titled “My Father, My Attack Dog,” Berman refers to his father, from whom he had then been estranged for three years, as “a despicable man,” a “sort of human molestor,” and “a world historical motherfucking son of a bitch. (sorry grandma).” He recalled hating his father even as a child, and he summed up his own career as a musician and poet as an attempt to escape the paternal orbit: “I fled through this art portal for twenty years.”

I never saw this post at the time or understood why Berman had disappeared from the music scene. Reading it now helps to make clear (if it doesn’t entirely explain; nothing could) why he felt so chronically ill at ease in this world that he eventually chose to leave it, and how deeply ambivalent he was about the power of art to save him or anyone. “In a way I am the son of a demon come to make good the damage,” he writes, in an almost biblical tone very different from the vernacular lyricism of his songwriting and poetry. “I’ve always hid this terrible shame from you, the fan. … Previously I thought, through songs and poems and drawings I could find and build a refuge away from his world.” The letter closes on a note of anguish about the impossibility of such an escape: “But there is the matter of Justice. And i’ll tell you it’s not just a metaphor. The desire for it actually burns.” He signs off on a note of cautious hope, a hope that would sustain him through 10 more years (not enough) of life on this unjust earth: “There needs to be something more. I’ll see what that might be.”*
—Dana Stevens, Slate’s movie critic

The Wild Kindness” from American Water

I’m gonna shine out in the wild kindness

And hold the world to its word. 

When the news of David Berman’s death reached me, from several directions simultaneously, on Wednesday evening, the first line of his that came to mind was the title phrase of “Like Like the the the Death.” The stuttering inarticulability of the sheer fact, the enormity, in the old sense of the word. But the first music that entered my head was the music of “The Wild Kindness,” a song that ends the most fertile and perfect Silver Jews album, 1998’s American Water, in a spirit almost like a religious processional, sending the listener back out into reality with Berman’s blessing. The verses are quizzically meditative, calibrated as finely as any Berman lines ever, but the chorus is one of the few where Berman is full-throatedly declarative, without too much tongue in cheek. The declarations vary from chorus to chorus: “I’m gonna shine out in the wild silence/ And spurn the sin of giving in”; “Instead of time, there will be lateness/ And let forever be delayed”; and finally, “I’m gonna shine out in the wild kindness/ And hold the world to its word.” It’s a song about choosing to live, choosing to stay, putting one’s faith in something as fragile as kindness instead of the persuasive certainty of destruction. Having to make that deliberation too many times over, across too many years, must be exhausting, to keep finding ways to forestall forever. No one else can pass judgment on that. But in so much of Berman’s work there is so much to stay for—the nitrogen and the grass and the autumn and the icebox, as they go wandering through the lines of the verses in “Wild Kindness.” I don’t know if it’s possible to hold the world to its word. But I’ll go on holding those words up to the world.
—Carl Wilson, Slate’s music critic

Punks in the Beerlight” from Tanglewood Numbers

Besides the great and immediately comprehensible neologism beerlight, “Punks in the Beerlight” is, in some ways, a conventional song: an ode to self-destructive “burnouts in love.” A lesser songwriter would either paint the couple in a false glow of romance or wallow in the tawdry abasement. But Berman captures the fractured junkie consciousness—self-justification alternating with decadence—by switching registers almost line by line, zooming out from the gutter (“Where’s the paper bag that holds the liquor?/ Just in case I feel the need to puke”) to the pseudo-philosophical (“If we’d known what it’d take to get here/ Would we have chosen to?”). Where a Springsteen might have lingered on the gauzy romance of “build an altar on a summer night,” Berman sucks back to the specificity of smoking the gel off a fentanyl patch.

A female voice (Berman’s ex-wife Cassie) hedges a future exigency: “If it ever gets really, really bad … ” The narrator cuts her off: “Let’s not kid ourselves—it gets really, really bad.” Better to focus on one unmistakable truth: “I always loved you to the max.”
—Franz Nicolay, occasional Slate contributor, musician, and author of The Humorless Ladies of Border Control: Touring the Punk Underground from Belgrade to Ulaanbaatar

I Remember Me” from Bright Flight

He bought a little land with the money from the settlement,

And even bought the truck that had hit him that day.

He touched the part where the metal was bent

And if you were there, you wouldn’t hear him say:

 

I remember her

And I remember him.

I remember them,

I remember then.

I’m just remembering.

“I Remember Me” isn’t as surreal or opaque as other David Berman songs. It’s a country-music tragedy that starts with a couple falling in love. Then the man gets hit by a truck, the woman reluctantly abandons him, and the man recovers alone with his memories. The specifics provide the real pathos—and make it a Silver Jews song: a Chattanooga waterslide, a black hawk “nailed to the sky,” a banker in Oklahoma, a boombox in the sea. This album, Bright Flight, came out when I was first dating my now-husband, and it’s impossibly entangled with my own sense memories of that time: the crunch of snow at night in Rogers Park in Chicago, drinking Miller Lite on a back balcony, the feeling of being 21 and in love. The world seemed suddenly full of images and stories and emotions that resisted precise analysis but were beautiful anyway. I remember them; I remember then.
—Ruth Graham, Slate staff writer

Now II” from Actual Air

You’re not supposed to love poems for the lessons they teach you, but I’m pretty sure “Now II” from Actual Air has been stuck in my head since college, not just because it’s beautiful but because it functions as a cautionary tale. “O I’ve lied to you so much I can no longer trust you,” Berman writes. “O Don’t people wear out from the inside.” He’s talking to God, I guess, but I hear it as a warning that applies just as well to our interactions with our fellow mortals. Be careful not being your true self, Berman seems to be saying. Keep yourself hidden long enough, let your insides get warped beyond recognition, and you’ll end up alone even if you succeed at getting someone to love you. The plea at the end of this poem—“Dear Lord, whom I love so much/ I don’t think I can change anymore”—is the sound of a person dropping his act and hoping, desperately, that something good remains.
—Leon Neyfakh, host of the podcast Fiasco and co-creator of Slate’s Slow Burn

Trains Across the Sea” from Starlite Walker

Sin and gravity

Drag me down to sleep

To dream of trains across the sea

Trains across the sea 


Half-hours on Earth

What are they worth?

I don’t know 


In 27 years

I’ve drunk 50,000 beers

And they just wash against me

Like the sea into a pier. 

“Trains Across the Sea” is the melancholy track that kicks off the first Silver Jews album and happens to include some of the most evocative poetry Berman ever wrote. It’s a song I’ve loved deeply since high school, especially the last lines. A beaten-down young guy dreams this beautiful, almost Victorian fantasy of escape—of a train crossing the sea. But once he’s awake, it’s right back to wondering what life is worth when you’ve spent most of it getting trashed. “In 27 years/ I’ve drunk 50,000 beers/ And they just wash against me/ Like the sea into a pier.” Instead of crossing the sea, he’s stuck in it. It’s a pretty heartbreaking note of resignation, of doubting that you can really get past your own demons. And I think that if we’re being honest, most of us have been there.
—Jordan Weissmann, Slate’s senior business and economics correspondent

The Charm of 5:30,” from Actual Air

Like Berman and just about any human being on earth, I love the magic hour, when the sun is beginning to set, the sky is beautiful, and everyone looks good in the light. “You know what I’m talking about.” I’ve read this poem a number of times, at different moments in my life, and it’s always resonated in new ways. These days, when Berman observes the melancholy surrounding him before the twilight, it just feels too eerily and sadly familiar.

But he’s right: At 5:30, there’s nothing to do but get along. All we’ve got is each other—and some cold beer.
—Chau Tu, associate editor at Slate Plus

If you need to talk, or if you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Correction, Aug. 14, 2019: This entry previously misattributed a poem by a different David Berman to the Silver Jews frontman.