As Slate’s senior correspondent for our History of Medieval Weaponry/Musical Instruments/Christmas Movies/Saturday Night Live/Regrettable Public Statements of Anthony Scaramucci vertical, I was surprised and puzzled to hear that HBO’s new teen drama Euphoria was somehow relevant to my beat. Then Conan O’Brien played a clip from the show’s newest ad campaign and suddenly it all made sense:
That poor guy in the car! Like all great comedy since Aristophanes, this sketch lives and dies on the voiceover announcer’s delivery of the line “DING-A-LINGS!!!” And it lives, mostly, helped along by stock footage of hot dogs and this incredible image of Abraham Lincoln discovering Euphoria’s attitude towards full frontal male nudity:
Euphoria looks like fun, but the ad Conan showed, like Lincoln himself, has something of a melancholic air about it. It’s sad to consider that the Party of Lincoln—a man who, as the photograph above proves, openly celebrated subscription-based cable television networks’ embrace of full-frontal male nudity—has been handed down through the years to the current party leadership. Those guys are a bunch of total dicks.