Identity theft affects us all, whether we’re having our credit ruined by careless credit ratings agencies or making millions of dollars carelessly running those same credit rating agencies. And as anyone who’s had so much as a credit card lifted can tell you, cleaning up the wreckage can be terrifying. Consumers have to navigate an endless maze of soulless automated menus and mysterious call centers, like rabbits in some sort of sadistic experiment. It means a lot when a company offers personalized customer service, and the more personalized the better. On this week’s Saturday Night Live, Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson explored Discover Card’s bold new approach to customer service:
That is definitely personalized customer service, but it actually doesn’t look like very good customer service. Are they going to cancel the card? Send a new one? Come to her home and tether her to a coffee table? It’s unclear. But don’t judge Discover Card too harshly: a spokesperson for the company who sounded a lot like me but requested anonymity on the grounds that he was never given a name assures me that they’re planning to roll out house calls soon. Very, very soon.