This year’s Academy Awards kicked off with a performance from Queen and Adam Lambert that provided one of the night’s best opportunities for gawking at celebrities. Specifically, it provided an opportunity to gawk at celebrities gamely trying to look enthused while clapping along arrhythmically. Amy Adams was nowhere near the beat, Christian Bale opted to stand respectfully without making any attempt to dance, and Jordan Peele went for silently nodding his head. Nobody really came off well here, but Javier Bardem’s full commitment to dancing, complete with heavy metal finger horns, wins the “Least Bad Reaction to Queen’s Opening Number” Oscar. To make it easier for you to rank your favorite awkwardly dancing superstars, we’ve followed the example of the Grammys and cut all the reaction shots into a single video.
Because the music had almost no connection to the motions on screen, we’ve also replaced the audio with Billy Murray’s recording of “Give My Regards to Broadway” in honor of Hollywood’s Biggest Night. Feast your eyes and glut your soul:
Whether you’re deciding which celebs get automatic lifetime bans at the concert venue you manage or just projecting a silent version on a loop to give your next band practice a Rupert Pupkin touch, all of us here at Slate hope that this film is so useful that it becomes a beloved part of your home video library.