There are as many reasons you might need a video of a man in a bottomless Toys “R” Us Geoffrey the Giraffe costume smashing up Jimmy Kimmel’s set with a baseball bat as there are stars in the sky. Maybe you’ve been charged with murder, and your only possible alibi is footage of you on Hollywood Boulevard, dressed in a terrible SpongeBob SquarePants costume, recoiling in horror as a naked-from-the-waist-down Geoffrey shatters car windows. Or maybe … well, that’s the only reason, really. Good luck beating the rap!
This was not Geoffrey’s first appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, but it was the first time he opted not to wear pants, which is as good a reason as any to draw your attention to cartoonist Ben Ward’s extraordinary achievement in the field of naked-from-the-waist-down art from December. Unlike the Jimmy Kimmel video, it seems unlikely that this comic will become key evidence in a murder trial, but it’s impossible rule that possibility out, and none of us want an innocent man sent to the chair while the real killers walk free. Well, none of us except for the real killers, and honestly, fuck those guys:
It’s true what they say: We’re living in the golden age of comedy based on cartoon characters waking around without any pants on. Or a golden age, at least: Donald Duck’s lifelong commitment to indecent exposure still makes these guys look like naked-from-the-waist-down pikers. It’s important to remember, however, that comparing Bottomless Geoffrey to Bottomless Spider-Man, much less to legends of cartoon nudity like Bottomless Donald Duck, does everyone involved a bottomless disservice. The pants-free performing arts are not a competition, and our culture has more than enough room for every Toon in Toontown to shed their red overalls or tailored black pants at last and bring our troubled nation a new birth of cartoon genital freedom. Geoffrey’s trouserless rampage is a valuable reminder that sometimes, when you take off your pants and pick up a baseball bat to smash car windshields on Hollywood Boulevard, you end up smashing cultural and artistic boundaries instead.