Brow Beat

Trevor Noah Asks the Question on Everyone’s Lips: “What the Hell Happened With Stephen Miller’s Hair?”

Trevor Noah, looking in confusion at a picture of Stephen Miller's strange hairstyle.
Did you catch it?
Comedy Central

Since the moment Stephen Miller appeared on Face the Nation to push more white supremacist garbage, the inside of my head has abandoned its usual loop to obsessively alternate between two images, both Simpsons-related. In one of them, a smile of delight is slowly spreading across Homer Simpson’s face as he realizes how hilarious Miller’s new look is. In the other, Bart Simpson is writing the following on a chalkboard:

It’s wrong to make fun of other people’s appearance.
It’s wrong to make fun of other people’s appearance.
It’s wrong to make fun of other people’s appearance.
It’s wrong to make fun of—you know what? There’s no sense being a hardliner about this when the other people in question are building a white nationalist ethnostate as quickly and violently and cruelly as they can possibly manage. So as far as I’m concerned, we can all watch Trevor Noah drag Stephen Miller for his unfortunate hairstyling decisions with a clean conscience:

Shoot it straight into my petty, petty veins! The footage of Miller on Face the Nation is such a delight in its own right that all Noah really had to do was roll it, point at it, and ask the audience if they noticed the hair, but he really went above and beyond here. Still, I’m not sure I 100% agree with his police work here:

You know what’s crazy about this whole situation? Trump hates it when his people look bad on TV. He hates it when people look weird, when they look stupid, when they get mocked, which means this might be the only thing that could get Patch Adams over here fired. Tomorrow the president’s gonna call him in like, “I’m sorry, Stephen. There’s no place in this White House for someone with dumb hair.”

Noah is right that the president hates it when people mock his employees, but given the heroic, ridiculous efforts Trump has made in his own vain quest to not be bald, it’s hard to see how he’d fault Miller here. The most likely outcome for a Trump employee who willingly sacrifices his own dignity in order to pretend he has a full head of hair is the kind of fatherly chat Eric and Don Jr. can only dream of, followed by a promotion. Which means this is probably not the last time Stephen Miller will appear on television with a ridiculous, ridiculous hair situation. Cue Homer Simpson smiling.