Sports

Busted: Patrick Mahomes Caught Using Echolocation With No-Look Pass

I don’t know how they play football on Patrick Mahomes’ home planet, but the Kansas City Chiefs superstar has been making a mockery of our earthbound quarterback techniques all season. Mahomes added another impossible trick to his repertoire on Sunday, avoiding a swarm of Baltimore Ravens defenders before somehow whipping a no-look pass to Demarcus Robinson.

That’s just unnatural. It’s not right!

The rulebook doesn’t say anything about using echolocation, but the NFL Competition Committee will certainly want to take a look at it this offseason. In the meantime, the officials will have to ignore Mahomes’ performance-enhancing sonar.

Completing simple passes in the NFL is hard enough (just ask Mark Sanchez), and so it would seem an unnecessary risk to get all Pete Maravich with the ball like that. But Mahomes is an alien, and he is at his best when defying logic and good sense. (Recall that he converted a left-handed shovel toss against the Denver Broncos in October.) Faced with a huge fourth down late in Sunday’s game, Mahomes threw across his body into the middle of the field. That a big no-no for most, but it resulted in a 48-yard completion for the quarterback and set Kansas City up to tie the game, 24-24.

The Chiefs would win in overtime, 27-24.

What’s next for Mahomes? Can he throw a Hail Mary relying purely on his sense of smell? The rulebook doesn’t say anything about ESP, so defenses should be aware if he starts to bend any spoons with his mind.